Thighs Wide Shut

‘I read the script for Trainspotting and in the film Ewan’s character goes into the toilet for a swim. The whole point of the Trainspotting shoot was that it was very fashiony – there was a black and white CK shoot out at the same time – so we wanted to keep people guessing and make it a little confusing’ - Lorenzo Agius, August 2009

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above are the photos that weren’t used in the film’s iconic posters

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How Trainspotting’s poster campaign was made

T2 Trainspotting
Begbie, Borrow and/or Steal
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 117 min

There are things in this world that are so great as is, that they are best left alone, and don’t require follow-ups, new editions or reinvention.  Just ask Coke, a 2nd Clinton in the White House, Star Wars prequels, and most sophomore albums of bands from the mid aughts

But in this day and age, nothing is sacred, and nothing is left alone (especially when name and brand recognition = eyeballs & $$$s), and the results have not only been NOT horrifying, but udderly fresh and fantastic.  We thought we had enough of Hannibal Lecter, but then came the brilliant TV show that perhaps outshone even Silence of the Lambs!  Or how about Bates Motel – which dared to breathe new life into the musty sports coat of Norman Bates, and the result was the furthest thing from sacrilege – it felt like home.  Even Star Wars was able to turn things around, outside of Lucas’ grip, bringing a force, back to the… force.  Heck, even Dumb and Dumber To somehow was able to recapture the same exact magic it brought to this world 20 years ago.  What all these entertainments have in common is the proper embrace of their grand pasts, but able to move forward WHILE being familiar

One thing I never thought I wanted was a 2nd helping of Trainspotting.  Yes, I know there was an Irvine Welsh book sequel, but the 1996 movie changed my life, and I didn’t want anything to change that.  It inspired me to never do heroin, live for Britpop music (can’t imagine my ears without Pulp & Blur), and even study abroad in the British Isles back in ’98.  Even made my way up to Edinburgh while there, to try and retrace the steps of Renton and Spud, but sadly, Google maps wasn’t in play til 2005, so I wasn’t able to do the proper locationspotting that I love to do

To this day, Danny Boyle‘s Trainspotting is tied for #1 on my list of the best of the bestest movies of balls thyme, along side It’s A Wonderful Life, A Clockwork Orange, Citizen Kane, Zodiac and Psycho (and maybe The Princess Bride).  I had seen the movie a bazillion times on VHS and DVD, but eased off of it for the past decade.  Then it was announced that Boyle and Ewan McGregor had finally made peace and were ready to move forward with a sequel  

Who am I to question a 2nd round, when all the principal people are involved, and it was going to happen no matter what my feelings were.  Well, it was certainly happening, and this meant I needed to see the original again, and luckily it played in a theater last month and I got reacquainted with my old friends, before I got to get reacquainted… with my old friends, in a sequel 21 years after the fact

I’m a different movie-goer these days.  I try not to, and usually don’t get excited about movies anymore.  You only burn yourself when you get yer hopes up way too high, and I’m tired of getting my hopes up, only to see my hopes sh!t upon (sports fandom taught me that the hard way).  So I was excited that there was going to be more of the Trainspotting crew in a cinematic form, but curbed my enthusiasm as much as humanly possible 

And so, I saw T2 Trainspotting, and…

• if you were any kind of fan of #1, you MUST see #2.  it’s made for you (and me).  it’s NOT made for newcomers (or haters).  you can’t just jump into this world without #1, and you probably won’t like it as a stand alone film even if you did
• it doesn’t really feel like a sequel.  it feels more like a remix extension, made with fresh paint, but using the same original tools (even writer John Hodge and producer Andrew Macdonald are back!).  a lot of the beloved songs from the original are actually remixed in the new one, and it doesn’t feel used, kinda new-sed.  speaking of – the music/soundtrack was of course brilliant, but not sure why no love for Damon Albarn?  they couldn’t fit a Gorillaz song in there??
• the pacing works just as well as it did in the original, but the original was slightly over 90 minutes, and I felt like the new one should have followed suit, instead of hovering close to 2 hours.  not sure where to cut, but I’m not an editor
• I was all for everything that happened in the movie, but there’s one scene late in the film that I felt was a little too dark, too bleak, and it briefly took away from my enjoyment of the film, and the series as a whole, but it is what it is, and perhaps it needed that bleak darkness in it. I mean, these films aren’t all fun and games, right?
• after it was said and done, I felt that the plot wasn’t all that strong (when compared to #1s), and the new female character wasn’t all that well utilized, BUT, plain and simple – I loved the film and VERY happy it exists.  The movie juss made me happy.  It really did, and it’s obviously not a very happy movie.  I was happy to spend more time with my old pals Renton, and Ewen Bremner as Spud, and Jonny Lee Miller and Sick Boy, and even a few minutes of Kelly Macdonald as Diane (although I coulda handled like a few gajillion minutes with her)
• but what am I most pleased with? Robert Carlyle‘s return as Begbie.  Begbie is my everything.  Always has been.  Begbie is Trainspotting‘s everything.  The time in between the two movies, he’s been stuck in jail.  I wish they would re-write that, and set him free, and literally make a series of Begbie movies, of Begbie being Begbie, Begbeing all over the place. [Update – THEY MAY JUST MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE!!!]  Begbie.  Just saying (or typing) his name brings joy to my soul.   Begbie is a horrible human being/character, but I beg for more Begbie.  Begbie, please always Beg-BE, and I will forever be spotting

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Trainslurping: love the new girl Anjela Nedyalkova (even though she was underused)

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

T2 terminates your brain in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

I just know that this is going to be EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tony Romo’s broken, but our Annual NFL Pee View aint.  here we go…

NFC

The Giants should easily win the NFC East, right?  Ben McAdoo?  More like Ben McAdon’t!  They say he looks like some dude on South Park (a show I haven’t watched since season 1), but I think he looks like a bullsh!t version of Begbie from Trainspotting.  Regardless, in my heart of hearts, I want no team to win less than them.  Living in New York City, during a time when they’ve netted 2 Lombardi trophies, has been simply unbearable.  Having them suck above all other NY sports teams is all I can hang my hopes on to.  I don’t trust the Redskins, but I actually think they’re more together than the other teams in their division (Eagles may suprise, but probably not), and so, they will make the playoffs… and probably lose in the first round again

Silly to think that the Packers have only won one Super Bowl with A.A. Ron Rodgers, but that’s the truth.  His brother ‘won’ the Bachelorette, and apparently there’s been much Rodgers family drama going on with their ladies, which will distract A.A. Ron from winning another.  The Vikes need another sex boat scandal to become sexy again, and the Bears are praying the Cubs dominance will continue to take the edge and attention off and away from their awfulness… which leaves the Megatron-less Lions being the mightiest of this bunch.  Woah!  Say it aint so!

The Panthers will remain one of the conference’s top dogs (or should that be cats?), but the Saints will give them a run for their money all season long.  Brees will actual break the record for most TDs in a game – a record he is currently shares with 7 other white dudes.  The Bucs will continue to suck until they realize that they need to revert back to their original uniforms and helmet.  And the Falcons?  Time to put Matty on ice for good, or in a dumpster (on fire or not)

The 12th man and the 11 starting Seahawks will retake their West crown back from the Cardinals, in 4pm EST games most of us will not really care about, but will watch, cause it’s football!!!  Will be cool to see the Rams back in Los Angeles, and even more cooler when we see the Rams without Jeff Fisher.  What woulda been even way more cooler is if they renamed themselves the Los Angeles Dons – the 1st football team to ever play in LA, which was co-owned by Louis B Mayer, Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, and Don Ameche!  DON FCUKING AMECHE PEOPLE!!

#1 Seahawks

#2 Panthers

#3 Skinz

#4 Lions

#5 Cardinals

#6 Saints

NFC Championship – Saints meet up with the Panthers and stun the defending Conference champ – 44 – 39!!!

nice neck!

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AFC

Is this the year the Patriots don’t getter-done?  Everyone’s sick of them and their cheating.  That’s why the NFL punished them – even though they’ve never been proven guilty of anything, other than being amazing.  (OK, I guess they got caught in Spygate, but that was almost 10 years ago, and I can’t remember what happened 10 seconds ago).  We certainly shouldn’t count them out, but lets say Jimmy Galapagos isn’t Tom Brady II.  OK – Jimmy Santangelo isn’t the 2nd coming of Tom Brady.  Lets say he puts them in a 0-4 hole to start the season.  OK, Jimmy Gulps loses 4 games. Sure, Brady could win the next 12, but lets say he only wins 9?  9-7 is tough tomatoes when talking about AFC playoff spots.  Seems like some AFCers have finished 10-6 and haven’t made the dance.  So, for giggles and big sh!ts, lets say the Pats try their dam damn bestest, but don’t make it to the playoffs!  I’M CALLING IT!!!  Cause honestly, what else do I have to do?  So, I guess that means I have to pick a division winner.  I have a soft spot in my heart for the Bills, but one coach Ryan is too many coach Ryans, so two coach Ryans is too two too many.  Phins stink, so my defacto winner are the Jets!!!

RGIII is now the Browns‘ problem, but it’s a perfect place for him – low visibility and even lower expectations.  And I expect him to be placed on injured reserve when his ego deflates in week 4, when his former teammates on the Redskins scalp his RGKnees to shreds!!!  I don’t dig on the Steelers and their drug addicted team, and I don’t dig the Ravens neither (mainly cause black still doesn’t pair well with purple).  I also don’t diggity dig on the Bengals none either neither, but at least their consistent, at being good in the regular season, and sucking in the post-season.  The NFL’s storylines don’t change dramatically from year to year, so the Cincy boys will win.  Insert ‘Zzz’ emoji here…

Gonna spare you and me the words, and leave the North division to one word - Colts 

I’m doing it again, two years in a row – picking the Chiefs, Broncos and Chargers all to make the playoffs, cause why the funk not?  Hell, the Raiders even have a shot… when they move to Vegas and become The Las Vegas He Hates Mees!

Seeds

#1 Colts

#2 Bengals

#3 Jets

#4 Chiefs

#5 Broncos

#6 Chargers

AFC Championship – IF the Pats don’t make the Playoffs, the Colts with luck without suck will ground the Jets – 21 – 10

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Super Bowl –wait, how did I pick a rematch of Super Bowl XLIV???  dunno – but these things happen, but this time the Colts win, and the two teams combine to break the record of most points scored in a Super Bowl (75 pts in Super Bowl XXIX)

Colts 39, Saints 37

rumspringa party time for all the Amish kids!!!

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our super ye olde yee pee views always used to end with a pic of Meagan Good in a Hooters outfit, cause why not?  we thought we used every single Meagan Good in a Hooters outfit picture in the known world, but turns out we didn’t!  lucky you!  lucky me!  lucky we!!

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perv-iously…

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