Thighs Wide Shut

oft tu there bitch, ewes beaches!

half ah grape weakened avery wan!

Skins Ep 2 of Season 3 was straight off the meat rack. the Cook centric episode was over-Cook-ed to perfection, including, but certainly not limited to, Mackenzie Crook (Gareth Keenan)’s guest work on a… meat rack. our mind went wandering and wondering and wees were thinking second thoughts as to which of the Fitch/Prescott twins we liketh the mostestestest, and could possibly have the dishonor of sitting on the/our throne of Thighland for all thighternity

choosing this choosy choice is more frustrating than being a choosy Mom who doesn’t choose JIF!

we’ll come AND play
even if our name aint Danny!!

we’re totally havin a Siamese (twins wet) dream bout dem two!!!

last week we instantly fell for doormat/closet lezzie Emily/Kathryn, butt now we’ve also fallen under the trance and enchantment of her homophobic/pushed-up bra twinster Katie/Megan, her adorable lisp, and even morer adorabler chipmunk cheeks. cause you knows we loves the female chipmunks and their cheeks!!!!

we wanna pinch dem cheeks and then pinch ourselves for doing so

oye forkin vey!
we need a cold shower!!

dangs, this picking a which twin is the nit-shiz over the other is rather tuff stuff, and dan rather taxing on the brain, and on that other brain. got brain? we needs we a drink and a banana to think this one over and out

wait a millisecond
this aint even a contest

The Streets – ‘Fit But You Know It’

they musta blown the entire budget on dem ho-riffic sweaters

Not The Cosbys XXX [NSFWness via Sigh Master]

+ for the 9th zillionth time: Let It Cosby

it was twenty-two years ago today, Cpt. Sweaty Shirtless Sax Guy taught the band to play… in front of trashcans filled with fire. they’ve never gone out of style, and they’re guaranteed to raise a smile, and a few hard-ons as well. so may we reintroduce to you the act you’ve known for all these years, Cpt. Sweaty Shirtless Sax Guy’s Boner Inducing Clan

bi the gay, The Lost Boys opened in theaters on the very same day as the vastly underloved Dalton as Bond Living Daylights. take a look at who won the weekend, and herspecially all the other amazingness goings on at multiplexes across America that week!!

1 – The Living Daylights
2 – The Lost Boys
3 – La Bamba
4 – Robocop
5 – Summer School
6 – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (Re-issue)
7 – Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
8 – Full Metal Jacket
9 – Dragnet
10 – Adventures in Babysitting
11 – Beverly Hills Cop II
12 – Jaws IV: The Revenge
13 – Roxanne
14 – The Untouchables
15 – Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise
16 – The Witches of Eastwick
17 – Maid to Order
18 – Spaceballs

boo-nus: YTMND still believes too!

Orphan
Mighty Orphan Power Stranger
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Orphan aint nuttin but a fun shock and awe-snap horrorfest. In the same breath, it’s also a hard to swallow, heavily mean-spirited affair where the children are not only thrown into harms way, but actually get harmed. If you can get past the second half of that breath (it’s really really tuff, but we know you can do it!), and all the other toothsome gruesome violence strewn about, you’re in for another summer frightening treat, that’s a slight step behind last month’s nutragoeus Drag Me To Hell. Like Scream, Orphan openly pays homage to films of a mo golden era, but Jaume Collet-Serra‘s second directorial stab in the genre (after his entertaining House of Wax Dat A$$) isn’t so obvious about it. Maybe that has something to do with David Johnson and Alex Mace‘s snazzy story (that does go on and on a bit too much at the very end), eggsalad production values, and believable performances from respected actors (Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard, a gay actor always trapped in a straight man’s role, eggecept in Kinsey when Kinsey gave him a reach around)

As for the film’s lesser-known child thespians (Natalie Portman Professional style jailbait Isabelle Fuhrman, young James T Kirk!, and a too adorable fo words Aryana Engineer, who does indeed know the language of sign in reals lifes), their work is so blowminding that after we left the theater, we demanded to know why the Academy Awards doesn’t separately recognize the talent of youth with their own category, herspecially if animation gets its own BS one (howevs, in the lates 40s, a few special awards were handed out to some kids, complete with miniature statuettes)!!! Sure, the wins of Tatum O’Neal and Anna Paquin were huuuuge, and the other youngin nominations were all nice gestures, but is it too much to ask to set aside a lil love and respek to these pint-size dyanamos who arguably have a tougher job of acting than their older counterparts? We still get chills juss thinking about Dakota Fanning’s hammazin work in I Am Sam, opposite a way over the top Sean Penn, and yet it was he who snagged the film’s only nomination. Where’s the justice folks? Thought everyone’s unofficial mantra was that kids came first. And no, that’s not ‘what she said’, you sick f$%k!!!

Twisty Ties: there’s quite a big twist in the movie that we wouldn’t dare reveal here, but there’s a smaller twist that’s already well known… CCH Pounder is hactually Bill Cosby!!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Orphan is currently being adopted by audiences at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…