Lots of Matzah Bitz
01. Apr, 2004 
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– Move over The Donald and that raccoon on your head cause there’s a new and mo interesting tycoon headed to TV. FOX is all set to unleash a reality show with zany British bearded media maven Richard Branson (Mr. Virgin Cola). It’s reported that der show will be called Branson’s Big Adventure. This guy rocks. He’s so cool that there may be a biopic about him starring Jude Law!
– Simpsons voice actors want more dough for their dohs!. They do deserve to make more money than Ray Romano, but the show should stop before the (nia) peoples start shouting “Boo-urns.”
– Tom Arnold, Laura Dern, and Maggie Gyenhwehwqerhhal are all signed up for a movie called Happy Endings. Hopefully it’s all about massages and getting hand jobs at the end. It’s directed by Don Roos who has no relation to the (kanga) Roos Shoes fortune.
– A stray Chinese monkey destroys a Chinese woman’s flat-screen TV. Now she wants the Chinese government to pay for it. She must not have heeded the message in her fortune cookie: “Beware of random acts of violence by hairy animals. Lucky number 2, 7, 16, 27, 90210”
– Lesson #18,213,123: never enter a chat room with the title “rape fantasy.” Why? Well, you could end up having your testicles attacked. Meet Michael Todd Howard. He’s a sick dumb ass. Mr. Todd set up a “rape fantasy” encounter with a willing female online and then when he showed up to get his rocks off, he broke into the wrong person’s apartment! Dude, take some time away from yer dirty chat rooms and use this thing called Mapquest.
I love romantic comedies!!
April Fool’s!!
