Mark "Super" DuperQwik Bitz
15. Apr, 2004 
0 Comments
– A Wisconsin cop downs 9 1/2 donuts in 3 minutes to win a doughnut-eating contest. HA! I once ate like 20+ White Castle shitburgers in less than 3 minutes. Maybe our mouths will meet up (that sounds awfully gay, doesn’t it?) at Nathan’s Annual 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest.
Every fat person’s wet dream
– Cat not in hat. Cat in box. Box shipped with birds. Box arrives 30 days later. Cat found alive. Cat will be a contestant on next Survivor. Cat will sing a duo with William Hung.
 Thank you for helping me pass High School English |
– A rare copy of Hamlet failed to sell at a Christie’s auction. Ya wanna know why? Cause no one has ever fully read it. And who needs to read the whole thing when there are like 8 movie versions and CliffsNotes.
– Finally, the reality show we’ve all been waiting for: “scrimmages and other behind-the-scenes activities” of the Lingerie Football League. Can I play permanent QB?
