Adolf Oliver Clothesoff
08. Jul, 2004 
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– I think I’m going to renounce my US citizenship and become a comrade in North Korea. Why might you ask? Cause ill Kim Jong Il has made hamburgers his country’s top priority. “I’ve made up my mind to feed quality bread and french fries to university students, professors and researchers even if we are in (economic) hardship.” [Link via Brand Newbsian]
– Tupac Shukar has had more resurrections than the Jewish community of DC has had circumcisions. Next up for the Pac, a brand new album w/Eminenememnemnen on board.
– John Malkovich has signed on to play master painter Gustav Klimt in a new flick. I also think he’d be perfect for the lead in the penis eating cannibal project currently in development.
– Paris Hilton moments of the week: pouring boiled crawfish into two purses and whoring up a poor unsuspecting 13 year old Cajun girl.
– Meet Tony Kornheiser’s TV wife.
– Slow day at Billboard.com, eh? Look at this berry similar headlineszez: New Weezer Album Moving Slowly AND Strokes Moving Along On New Material. I’m sir prized we didn’t see Kerry Moving Fast & Furious On Gephardt For VP Album!
– Look at fried-egg teets turn into magical bouncing melons. [NSFW link from NSFW king, Tim “Fudger” Altie]
– Phish’s farewell show has sold out. Hopefully this will be the last time we humans ever have to smell patchouli.
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– And if I were to ever follow a band around the world it would have to be the Cumshots. Looks like they put on the greatest show on Earth! [Link 1nce again via Newbsies]
– Hungarian children love bin Laden, Saddam, and even Stalin more than they love George W Bush. Hopefully we can get a live report on this from The Thinker sometime soon as he’s there right now, but rumor has it, he was traded for 6 rugs and 3 camels.
– Two horrible games. Both slightly entertaining. One offensive. One just plain stoopid. [Links via Zach de la Roachclip and My Man Marvkus]
– Best blog with a Hebraic name: Shalom One Time.
– In con-clue-shun, I don’t ask for donations, but if you really wanted to be a doll, buy me a bottle of Moxie Cherry Cola, RC Cola, and Leninade, the drink for the masses! Gawd bless you Soda King. And m’yes, gawd bless you too Fake Dr Pepper site.
