Let Freedom Bling-Bling
04. Jul, 2004 
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– Peace the fudge out to Marlon Brando. We all knew you were in great debt and were hiding your Oscars for the collectors, but I don’t think offing yourself was a good plan. Anywho, the greatest Brando memory for mees is his role as Superman’s dad, Jor-El. The man was so ruff and tuff that he renamed his home planet of Krypton, “Kryp-tin”.
– Lohan will join the ranks of Avril Lavigne, Wilson Phillips, and Kelly Clarkson by contributing a song to The Princess Diarrheas 2: Royal Engagement soundtrack. When the Lohan eventually goes on tour, she should pull a Beck and ask the Flaming Lips to be her backing band. Can you imagine? I do, every single noche when I hit the sac, before hitting the sack.
– Who looks like Gideon Yago and designs pouches for Burger King? Why The House of Ugoff of course!!
– Woman turns into Coke machine. [Link via Zach de la Roachclip]
– NYC’s ready to build an ugly building to replace two ugly buildings. Hey, how bout building a 2nd Ave line. I think that’s a lil bit more important.
– At a concert in Naw Orleans, Prince was joined by old friends Sheila E, Chaka Khan, Morris Day and The Time, and many others to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Purple Rain. I guess we’ll have to wait until 2010 for a Graffiti Bridge 20th year reunion. Somewhere, Tevin Campbell is praying daily for such an event.
– Coach K, for the love of gawd, take the money and run!! Please leave the f-in Dukies program, so they can suck my donkey’s donkey balls for years to come, and let the Terps reign like Queen Victoria.
– And finally, merry 4th of Jewly everyone. Down with the red coats and up with plenty of free parking and 96 oz Big Gulps. However, I think we should all move to der Netherlands cause the gov-mint just supported a plan to improve the “quality” of their brothels. I knew we should have kept the name New Amsterdam. F-in lads. So ladbrokes.
