Cellie-Bratin’The Subway’sCent-Tennyul

On behalf of the breastest city named after a state, we all want to wish a berry merry 100th B-day to you Mr NYC Subway!! For on October 27, 1904, New York City’s firstestest official subway system opened in Mannyhattan. The Interborough Rapid Transit Company (IRT) operated the 9.1-mile long subway line that consisted of 28 stations from City Hall to 145th Street & B-way.

Did You Know…

(info via MTA)

– There are approximately 660 MILES(!) of passenger service tracks. Counting track used for “non-revenue” purposes (e.g., in subway yards), the number is more than 840 miles. And if laid end to end, all de NYC Transit train tracks would stretch from New York City to Chicago (home of the busted-a$$ El Tren)!!!

– There are 468 subway stations. That’s only 35 fewer stations than the combined total of all other subway systems in the country!!

– The longest ride with no change of trains is the trip from 207th Street in Manhattan to Far Rockaway in Queens (more than 31 miles). The longest with a transfer is the train from 241st Street in the Bronx, with a transfer to the Far Rockaway-bound Train (more than 38 miles).

– 4.5 million peeps ride dat train on an average weekday and about 1.4 billion do a year! That makes the NYC zissystem tied with Mexico City for 4th on Highest Annual Ridership list. Moscow tops the list at 3.3 bills, followed by Tokyo with 2.6 and Seoul with 2.2.

– The highest station is Smith/9 St in Brooklyn, measuring 88 feet above street level. The lowest station resides at 191 St in Manhattan, rocking 180 feet below street level.

El Master o’ Thighs

1st Annual

Subie Subway



– Breastestest Line In The Whole Dang Thang: 1/2/3/9, and I’m not being len biased. It’s the truth ruth!

– Worstestest Line In The Whole Dang Thang: 4/5/6. The trains never some come and the service always seems to be kaput on weekends.

– Stops Worth Stoppinging For: Union Sq (4/5/6/N/R/W/Q/L), South Ferry (1/9), Coney Island-Stillwell (D/F/Q), 161 Street-Yankee Stadium (B/D/4), and Christopher St (1/9).

– Mostest Recockulus Transfer Point: Taking the F to Broadway-Lafayette Street and having to walk a couple o blocks AND pay again just to take the 6 uptown.

– Finestest Dumbestest Thing That I Find Really Amusing: How at some stations, ‘SUBWAY’ is spelt ‘SVBWAY’.

– Biggest Waste of a Stop: 18th St on the 1/9. Isn’t having a stop at 14th and 23rd enuff?

– The Has Anyone Ever Rode This Line Award: J/M/Z

– Greatestist Subway Oriented Movie: The Warriors. Peas view this trailer. The Baseball Fury gang scared the living daylights & octopussy outta me when I was a wee lad. Maybe that’s where my udder disdain for the Yankees and clowns began.

– Greatestist Subway Oriented Documentary: Style Wars.

– Mos Fabuloususeous Website Dedicated Subways of Yore: Forgotten NY

– You Know You’re Lostest When: You’re riding the G train.

– Only Bathroom I’ve Ever Useded At A Station & Live To Tell About It: West 4th

– Mos Umcrediblistic Public Transportation Other Than The NYC Subway: London’s Underground

– People Watchingistest Train: The L-boogie heading into Billy’sburg. Duhvs!

– Swamp A$$ Award For Most Moltenest Station At 2am In The Summer: Lower East Side – 2nd Ave (F)

– If This Platform Can Be Friggin Air Conditioneded, Why Can’t They All Be: 42nd St – Grand Central (4/5/6)

– Slammeniest Subway Song: ‘My My Metrocard’ by Le Tigre

– Biggestest Subway Celeb: The I Have No Legs guy from Kids

– The Last Place I’d Sleep If I Were A Bum: Transfer tunnel between Port Authority and Times Square

– Thriftyiestest Deal On A Train: 2 AA batteries for a buck.

– Strangers With Candy: Any kid selling M&Ms for his high school’s basketball team. But the real question is, if these kids go to school, why are they riding the trains at 11am?

– Startingist Five of The All Name Team: Rector St (N/W or 1/9), Livonia Ave (L), Van Siclen Ave (J/Z, A/C, or 3), Zerega Avenue (6), and o’ course, good ole Hoyt St-Schermerhorn St(A/C/G). Honorable mentions: Dyckman St and Inwood-207 St (both on A)

And finally…

– The Tastiest & Mos Awfulistic Sangwhiches At Subway: Being a former Sangwhich Artist myself, I have a lot of eggspertease in this area. Tastiest? The BMT, no diggty/doubt. I mean the initials BMT could represent the Brooklyn-Manhattan Transit Corporation, but secretly it’s Bigger Meatier Tastier. Don’t tell Subway HQ I told you this or they’ll cut of my johnson! Mos Awfulistic? Tunafish, microwaved on high for 90 seconds.