I Heart Reviewing Movies

I Heart Huckabees

More Like I Fart On Huckabees

or I Apple Applebee’s

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This movie makes no sense tat all. Not one iota or one Toyota. And it’ll probably make no cents or dollars at the box office neither either. It’s a thinking man’s movie overloaded with too much psycho-babble and quasi-philosophy that yer often scratching yer head and yer balls (at the same time is considered multi-tasking), going, “What the Fred Funk is going on?” and “Why on mirth did that just happen?” These quirky lil things happened cause, normally on the money, director David O Russell probably tried too hard to make a ‘cool’ movie filled with big ‘ideas’. Oh look, Marky Mark is riding a bike, how deep! And wow, there’s a tall black dude from Africa!! Didn’t I see the same pointless African character thing did done in Garden State? Now this movie isn’t slit yer eyes out material folks, thanks in part to one of the finer ensemble casts of the year, but it wasn’t all that enjoyable. I would like to make a special mention that Lily Tomlin is a friggin comic genius. Tits an udder shame that her talents (and in this case, I aint talking bout her coat RACK) have been wasted (like Lohan) in a bunch of crap as of late (Disney’s The Kid and Orange County anyone?) instead of more movies like Huckabees… but not Huckabees (A Confederacy of Dunces in 2005 should be a step in the right direction). Confused by this review? Good, now you’ll have the right frame of mind if you go an peep this movie! And one final special special mention has gots to be made about the super mark doper on-screen coupling of Jude Law and Naomi Watts. Can you imagine how dead sexy their children would be? I’d love to take a dip in that gene pool. Anywho, skip this one and head directly to the far superior Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Its similar (they both even utilize squares in their marketing campaign), eggcept Eternal is actually a ‘cool’ movie with the big ‘ideas’ to back it up… plus Kirsten Dunst dances in her undies. Read our review here.

THX 1138

The Opposite of Ewoks

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I often spew tirades about how George Lucas has taken a giant microwaved tuna dump on my childhood by basdtardizing his Star Wars franchise with Jar Jar BLOWSGOATS and the wurst dialog this side of any sitcom on CBS, but there’s still hope for the old man. Call it a new hope (not Episode IV) after I finally visited his very first and mostest personal work: THX 1138. It is not only one of the BREASTEST sci-fi and futuristic flicks me has ever seen, but also one of the most unconventional ones too. Can you name another Lucas film with nipples in it? Its ummazing that Lucas even got it made in the 1st place and that the studios allowed him to make films in the future (no pun intended… or was there?). Many of the futuristic pics of the 70s imitated Orwell’s 1984 blueprint of a not-too-distant dystopian society, but THX 1138 puuuurfectly captured it from top to bottom. Logan’s Run, Soylent Green, and Zardoz, to name a few, were high on substance, but low on style (see the robot made out of tin foil in Logan’s for an example). Lucas however nailed down both aspects. Even today 1138 doesn’t come off as cheesy and recockulous, but frightening and uncomfortable. I rarely do this, but I watched it again with the audio commentary running in the background. This ‘new hope’ for Lucas does eggsist cause at the close of the film he stresses how after Star Wars wraps up, he’d like to go back to making more personal and unconventional films like THX 1138. If that day does really come, he’ll be pooping roses on my head and not StarKist.

Bonus: czech out this Legolized clip from THX 1138