Mean Swirls

01. Oct, 2004 0 Comments

– In the world of Lohan, LL tells Demi Moore and her Kabbalah bracelet to backdafuckup, her Dad pleads guilty to being a jacka$$, her music now has its own website, and her name was used as a password at some art opening at the Leslie-Lohman Gay Art Foundation.

– Although this is yer #1 source for all things Her Royal Thighness, we aint too pleased as punch that she’s turning morer orange and trashier by the minute. So I need to think of possible replacements for her in my heart. Sure Ivanka and Cuthbert top the list, but one such hottie I’m keeping tabs on is one MariÃ© Digby. I have no idea what her music sounds like and I can’t even find much info on her, but she is so crazy beautiful/beautiful that if she cooked me microwaved tuna, I’d gobble it down without even flinching!

– Classified FBI files on John Lennon are to be released soon! What secrets lie in these documents? Here’s some guesses:

* Lennon was a sex fiend who was super into plushies and furries

* The song ‘Mean Mr Mustard’ is about his ongoing feud with the CEO of Colman’s Mustard.

* Yoko Ono used to drink milk out of cartons that were well passed their ‘Best By’ date.

* Mott The Hoople and Foghat were his guilty pleasures

* Ringo used to pilfer thru Lennon’s garbage at the Dakota

– Remember dem douche bags suing McDonalds for spilling coffee all over themselfs? Wow, who knew that coffee was hot?! We now have another rocket scientologist out there who’s suing White Castle because he were injured by ‘unreasonably dangerous’ onion rings. I don’t think that’s something you want to admit publicly. [via Made of Brawnsteeen]

– Why do cousins marry each other?

– Roberto Benigni’s next project is an Iraqi comedy. Maybe it’ll be a larf a minute like his Pinocchio that no one actually saw.

– The NY Museum of Television & Radio will be holding a special screening of The Office Special and a conversation with main man Ricky Gervais on Oct 18 (three days before it airs on BBCAmerica). Members can buy tickets now, otherwise anyone can buy em starting Rocktober the 8th.

– Christians take a break from the crusades to rip Mean Girls a new arsehole. [via ThatISJustRight]

– Czech out this un-eggsalad headline of Paul Brinkmann’s, writer for The Green Bay Press-Gazette, latest article: Re-enactment of Historic Fight Won’t Go Eggs-actly As Planned. Looks like the cheese-head stole some of my lingo! I mean who would do a thing like that in this day and age? Shmears, obvs!