30 Going On Postal
25. Jan, 2005 
0 Comments
I demand a recount and a bean count! This is the biggest bamboozledment since Bush swindled the 2000 election AND the Spike Lee joint Bamboozled. You tellin me that out of the 250,000+ scumbag men that AskMen.com polled, they were able to find 29 hottier lizadies than Her Royal Thighness The II???? WHAT!RT$#!Y%H#$?@?#$ Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to join the sorority that is Catherine-Zeta-Jones-Omega-Mu-Douglas, throw some Monica Bluecheese into a tossed salad, dock my long ship in Natalie’s Port, man, and Knight Keira with my shlong, but some of these choices!@!#!$$ J Aniston, Becky Romijn O’Connell, Angelina Blowslee, or Selma Hemlich? Their ‘ginas be more mad crustier than Rip Van Winkle’s eyelids! Or how bout Lohanski? YUCK… she doesn’t even look right with a cak in her mouth, let alone a Photoshopped one. Jennifer Garner? She’s the kind of girl you play Connect Four with, not put on all fours. Let the debate continue, but be sure yous peep the list yoself. [thanks Skeeter & Druken StepPa for the heads up]
– If you didn’t hear, (clinton)Portishead and New Order are a go for Coachella.
– Major congratulations to Grambo, Scottie, Fluxie, Deflowerher, and The Boy With the Large Heart (all personal flavs) for being nominated for ‘Best Entertainment Weblog’ at the 2005 Bloggies. Too bad you can’t even vote for any of em cause the Bloggies have eggceeded their bandwidth. How ironic is that criz?!?! And thanks to none of you for voting me as ‘Blogger Most Likely To Spend Time In Jail’…
– Peace the fork out C Subway Line!! Who said the homeless were good for nothing?
– Ben Stiller, Samuel L, Judith Law, and Kate Winslow are all game for Ricky G’s latest creation Extras.
– Best Sundance starspotting of the week: garage attendant from Ferris Bueller’s Day off.
– Ringo to STARR in a Stan Lee cartoon. Nowhere Man could not be reached for comment cause he was too busy making nowhere plans for nobody.
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– I cunt beeleave I’m 2 years older than the finest chili parlor south of the Mason-Dixon line. Anywho, Happy 25th Hard Times Cafe!!! You know I like mine all the way wet [SFW]!!! Also, big ups to Dr Neil Murray for giving JK Rawls her third child.
– I think we all missed out on the cash cow that is selling Team Zissou Adidas shoes.
– Sick of using Orbuttz, Travelsuckity, and Exbrokia for yer travel needs? Peep Qixo for a change of pace. [via Chillary G Funk Era]
– Ever see a two-headed lamb? Ever seen a grown man nakkid?
– Finally, wanna join my Oscar Pool? 10 bones to enter and winner takes all!! There is no tiebreaker, so a tie will divvy the monies. To join is simple! Click here, make picks, join my group (‘Thighs R Us’, password is ‘cuthbert’), and then email me with what yer entry name and then I’ll give you an address to send in yer $10 entry fee. Good luck bizatches!!
