Alba Cause of You
05. Jan, 2005 
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– Why are women so hot and men so hairy and discussing? Lets not answer that question, but instead be jizzmerized by these mos s’wonderful snaps of Jessica Alba. Nuff to make my mouth spray, ‘Cuthbert who?’ [via Double V-Money]
– Peace the fork out to you H. David Dalquist. Some say he was the greatest inventor since Edison. I mean, can you imagine what life was like before the Bundt cake pan?
– U2 and Coldplay to be the Coachella co-headliners? Those rumors are so May 3rd, 2004. Either way, don’t count on Modest Mouse being there. But feel free to catch em on tour or when they appear on tomorrow’s ep of The O.C..
– Even though this animated gif and live video for ‘Mouse House, Moose Hoose’ both kinda freak me out, The Fiery Furnaces are still the mostestest. [via Catchy-D]
– 2005’s SXSW Festival should be a hoot. On board musically be The Raveonettes, Billy Idol, Sleater-Kinney, Son Volt, and plenty of other goodies. On the film side of tangs, Luke & Owen’s bro Andrew drops his directing debut, The Wendell Baker Story, while Todd Solondz’ shitbag of a movie, Palinbroke (reviewed here by me), gets a screening + discussion with E Dub’s Owen Gleiberman.
– The deadline for applications to become a member of Jeopardy!‘s illustrious Clue Crew be January 14th! I’m pullin for ya Paige.
– Is the Village Voice‘s newly minted site sponsored by Centrum or something?
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– I juss figured out my mission in life: resurrecting Bastian/D.A.R.Y.L/Barret Oliver‘s long dormant acting career.
– The International Federation of Competitive Eating [via Brawnymanstein]
– What is sure to be the movie that everyone will be talkin bout in the ’05? My money is on The Untitled Kurt Russell/Dakota Fanning Project.
– Remember when Wes Anderson made outstanding and outsitting movies? Well, you can relive the magic when Rushmore plays at Midnight this Fri & Sat @ the Sunshine.
– Dying to know what Tucker Carlson would look like if he was part buzzard? Click away.
– Here are two books that are sure to make yer shimmy go shimmy shimmy ya: Mr. Skin’s Skincyclopedia: The A to Z Guide to Finding Your Favorite Actresses Naked AND The Adventures of Q*Bert.
– CosmicLockSmith.com [via Z del Roachclip]
– Subway’s Jared Ate my Balls!
– And tis been too long since we’ve had one, so eye gives to you, the first BITCHED @ SWIRTH of ’05: David ‘Laser Pointer Sister‘ Banach and Darrell ‘I’ve overstayed my SNL welcome’ Hammond…
