Take Me Out ToThe Old Bore Game

• That’s right folks, we’re one day away for the torture season/my vacation away from sports. A new NCAA champ will be crowned and I will go into hiding until August, when pre-season fooball is heatin up and the fantasy mags hit the newsstands (Peyton Manning, a fo sho #1 pick yo!). So what is it about baseball that’s so fargin boring? Even going to the game and getting hammered isn’t all that it’s cracker jacked up to be anymoski. I get all antzy and want to leave after 4 innings. Maybe I’m juss more bitter than herbs cause my whole collection of cards is now worth less than Alf pogs. Remember Alf? And me even has gots two teams to root for (O’s/Nats), yet I could care less cause they both have no chance in hell of making the playoffs… which are like 35 months away. Even Cpt Boring himself, Steve Hartman, is disillusioned with the sport! Maybe I should look fwd to brighter days (way) ahead, and book a trip to 2005’s Maui Invitational, featuring such ultrabest squads like GARYLAND, Arizona, Arkansas, Connecticut, Gonzaga, Kansas, Michigan State, and the powerhouse, Chaminade. I mean, I’ve always wanted to get leid.

• Sniff, sniff: Mary Jane Watson to wed Donnie Darko?

• Planning on NOT seeing Sin City? What in de hell is wrong with you? Even my rents went to see it. Well, here’s THE breast part! [NSFW]

• In my humble mumbling opinion, The American Office juss doesn’t cut the mustard.

• Justin Timberlake = John McClane Jr? As shlong as Bonnie Bedelia is in it, I don’t stankin care.

• Even MORE Kong?

• Another reason to love Mulholland Drive: it saved Naomi Hotts from killing herself. Now we have to help her find someone who isn’t a jerk. I’m a complete jerkoff… does that count?

• You knows you is shit, but you know it, when Desperate Housewives rejects you… right Shitney?

• But these ladies are fit, and oh boy do they know it!

• This is what the new Coldplay album cover looks like. I hear they’re having a contest with Major League Basebroke to see who can be more boringer this year.

• Michael Douglas auditions to become a California Raisin.

• Drew has fever itch

• Haddaway vs Tiffany vs Belinda Carlisle vs Gloria Gaynor vs many more = UK geniusness.

• A double dip from Ask Yahoo!: When and where did the slang term “peeps” come from? AND What’s the difference between jam, jelly, and preserves?

• What’s breaster than a nip slip? A planned one. [NSFW]

• So when are all moving to Brazil again?

• Keytar CRAZYness [via Zach de la Roachclip]

• Own Pedro’s HOUSE! Or watch this ye olde vid of Nappy D at the X-Games. [via Richie Richard, Thai Warrior]

• I’m sorry, but this Lionel Ritchie/Pat O’Brien Remix doesn’t hold a candle to Tom Welling and myne’s. [via Ace of Spades via Decky Westward HoBag]

• We still the #1 search for ‘thighs’, even thru YaGoohoogle.com.

• Pretty In Pink 2? To bad Molly Ringworm aint no HRT the II!! [via Pinky Le Rox/StereoGFunk]

[via Double Viking]