The Chronicles of Riddick-e-lous-ness
09. May, 2005 
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• Life juss hasn’t been the same since Lord of The Rings ran its course and ran out of stories to tell each Christmastime (boy that was truly a golden age of awesomenessness, right?). Since then, there really hasn’t been any movie worth looking fwd too. C’mon, you can’t be serious that yer foaming at the pants with eggcitment for Episode III?? You think Hayden Crapysen all of the sudden learned how to act over the last 3 years? Well, my pessimism has turned to optimus-prime-mizzim after peepin the trailer for The Chronicles of Narnia: The L, W, & the W! Lettuce get all crunked up cause this one looks off the meat and your mother’s rack.
• What do you get when you cross IT’S PAT’S SAUCY V-MAILS and ROSIE THE RIVETING RETARD? THIS!!!!! [via the Unstoppable Gasm of TV]
• Before Wax, Cuthies had never been to a wax museum. She had too many better things to do, like pick up my dry cleaning, make me waffles, and bathe me. Either way, none of this eggsplains why Kingdom of Boredom beat Wax at this weekend’s box office. And is there a chance Cuthsplurt could be coming back to 24? “I don’t wanna come back unless it’s incredible and amazing and something wild and fun. If I come back I wanna come back in a big way.” And by incredible, amazing, wild, fun and a big way, she’s talking about my cak. Anywayz, had she been cast as Lois Lane, no one would have ever had to read this!
• Da Da Vinci Code‘s teaser poster
• Why?
• Free passes to Lords of Dogtown in NYC and Bewitched AND Stripes (?) in various cities!
• Ali-G Ring Weapon Charge Quashed
• KittenWar.com
• Ouch in words and Ouch in video [via Marv/ItzrRichy]
• What’s the world’s greatest blog, that isn’t a blog? This collection of one customer’s Amazon reviews. [via Natty-lie-t]
• I love it when Yessica gets cold and Jenna gets wet [wetness-NSFW]
• Everyone’s flavorite game: Computer Programmer or Serial Killer? [via Clevetown Mustard King]
• WTF, the animated gif [via My Ole Kenspunky Home]
• These three peeps all have to get on a bus and drive off a cliff. Please, don’t act all sirprized by all this.
• And if I were to ever make a music video, I’d force Mischa Mistress the MIXLIX to dress like this
[via UMC]
And Robert Palmerize the rest
