Darger! High Bestage

• What is one grape documentary you know nothing about, and who is one grape artist I wish I knew everything about after giving peepage to the aforementioned doc? In The Realms of the Unreal, which chronicles the life of uber-reclusive uber-imaginative Henry Darger, and his 12-volume, 15,145-PAGE novel that goes by the name The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is Known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, as caused by the Child Slave Rebellion, which includes oodles of wondrous paintings, some 10 foot long. It’s like Yellow Submarine meets D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths meets crack meets Gene-by-gene-YES!!! I won’t go in to details cause I want you to eggspeareance the magic 1st hand, but the doc has juss been released on DVD and is co-narrated by MY PRECIOUS Dakota Fanning, so make our family proud and see the damn thang!

• Piglet joins Tigger in PTFOland. The year of Pooh is qwikly turning into the year of boo.

• Rumor has it that Air are working on the soundtrack to Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette flick. If this turns out like the last partnership (Virgin Suicides sdtrk), I’ll be oui ouing in my pants for the next few years. What, you haven’t heard the werd? Well werd up, with a werdless ditty, and d-lode their s’wonderful ‘Dead Bodies‘ off said sdtrk.

• Coldplay AND Basement Jaxx both pay tribute to Kylie at Glasto by covering ‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’. I wonder whose version was better? I dunno, cause I heard everyone was too busy napping during Coldplay’s set.

• Pixie & Peaches Geldof, and myself are going to have our own international event this weekend, while daddy runs his. We call it Live8MeOut.

• Jimmy Chamberlin either needs smack money or lunch money

• Anyone else catch Julie Brown (not the downtown one) on this past week’s Six Feet Under?

• Who’s a Towson University grad, openly awesome, and openly gay? Lionel Luther [via Pakula Shaker]

• Gang of Four set to re-record their classics for a new album, and only be-cause I still don’t know who the fork they are or have heard one song they sing.

• ‘I don’t think I’ve ever missed a deadline; I think it would make me physically ill.‘

• This week’s sign that society is over: The first two innings of an actual minor league baseball game in July will be played by two guys on Xbox [via News del Weird]

• I haven’t had a thought (dirty or clean) about Elle MacPherson in four score and seven ages ago. That was until I read that she and her partner Arpad ‘Arkie’ Busson have gone splittsville after 8 years. So know that I’m forced to come up with thoughts, I came up with 2. First: I don’t care if she took a dump on you daily, if yer Elle’s man, you do whatever it takes to keep that shiz in yer life for good. Second: that ’88 SI cover you see to yer right is the last time I cared about their swimsuit issue (this semi-NSFW pic should refresh your jizz). I could never take them serious again after they let Kathy Ireland grace the following year’s cover. Look, I know she’s dope, but she doesn’t do it for me AND she co-starred in a movie with Scott Bakula and Sinbad that was, well, bad. Sure, they let her stand atop Eireland and Rod Stewart’s ole landing strip in ’94, but it was all too late to john woo me back. I had seen the light and moved on. I think some people call it porno.

• What’s very NOT SAFE FOR WORK and is having a dildo thrust upon her? Eve [via Shady H Acres]

• What do you get when you cross the flabbyamyamness of the Mermaid Parade with the eye of the Cobra Snake? This [via Sophie’s Choy]

• Udo Kier is…

• I think Korean kids hate Japan [via Korean BBQard]

• cakes

• The TRUTH About ‘Belgium’ [via MonkeyMan]

• Face Transformer and Face ANALyser [via Cruisepanko]

• Malls of America, when times were simpler and more bootleg…. just how we liked em [via CityRagDoll]

• An alarm clock that wakes you up with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon

• ROGER MOORE’S FANTABULOUS EYEBROWS [beware of audio via MetaPhil]

• And in clothing, what’s the wurstest kind of porn that isn’t even real porn since animated porn [NSFW]? Girls with cars, stuck, in all kinds of nasty road conditions… like grass, ice, sand, snow, and that dreaded mud. And where can one feed this addiction of girl with cars stuckedness? Why, CarsStickGirls.com duhvs course! You have to czech out each of the sample videos [kinda NSFW]. You wouldn’t bee leave how whoreibblee thumcredible these clips are. The only person it could possible turn on is Daredevil wearing a blindfold! Although I will admit that one bit with a girl in the mud gave me wicked boner flashbacks to when I first saw John Candy wrastle chicks in Stripes. [via Levitticus Finch]