Down But Not Eight Men Out

After losing my snoop joppy job on Friday I wished I could’ve had Scotty beam me to the 4th Annual Lebowski Fest in Louisville, KY this past weekend. But alas, Scotty had to go and czech out on us and thus leave this year’s fetives rather Thigh-Less. Apparently the show went on without me and the boys as there were plenty of other characters abound like the suspect usuals, camel jockeys, the Folger’s can carrying Donnie’s remains, the JO book, and the best of them all, the white Russian. The only positive thing I can think to say about my absence is that this toe was spared my harassment and constant attempts to try to lick and bloody her crotch region more than it already was.

• Speaking of hot, yet inappropriate things, The Smoking Gun dug up some 1977 testimony from Roman Polanski 13-year old rape victim, Samantha Gailey. Sure, Roman is a pedicured pedophile times pi R squared, but isn’t a 13-year old girl who previously had had sex twice before, tried Quaaludes, and refers to oral sex on a girl as ‘cuddliness’ a bit of the mark as well? Plus she spoke out in his defense before his PenisPianist would take home a bunch of ’03 Oscar gold. By the lame, how the forkspoons did Chicago beat Piani AND LOTR: The Two Towers for Best Pic? Well, I guess I can still be happy that Gangs of New York shit the bed that night.

• Sprekenze hot, yet no longer inappropriate things, everyone’s flavorite (Disclaimer: everyone = me + Her Royal Russian The III) faux-lesbo Russian wet dream team, t.A.T.u. are going to drop their long awaited 2nd album Dangerous and Moving on the 18th of Rocktober.

• Spankinze of people no longer with cash, you can get Horshack, Mr Belding, Otho from Beetlejuice, and many more F-listers to call one of your loved ones or enemies, thru the genius Hollywood Is Calling [via Double Liking]

• (belated) Peace the fork out of your TV Dinner

• The people have spoken this past weekend with their ticket buying power and say no way Michael Bay. And I was juss starting to think Americans had no taste. Then again, a Vince Vaughn vehicle has already netted 80.9 mils in only two weeks of work. By the not michael bay, forget to mention in our review, big ups to Tim Burton for throwing a couple o’ Kubrick props in The Choco Factory.

• The me hath spoken when I say that last nite’s Six Feet was wUnderful (almost time for Nate to show Hedwig/Fraggle/Mary Gross/Brenda the door!), and Entourage remains one the most over-hyped pieces of junk that’s somehow totally watchable. But if they leep puttin Mandy Moore on the show, I may have to declare it the best series since Twin Peaks.

• Have you peepened the V For Vendetta trailer? Screw Kong cause V is for VAWESOME!!! And if V lived somewhere it would be VAWESOME’S CREEK!!

• Patchouli heads west for Halloween [via Bill]

• ESPN & Ben Widdicombe don’t know shit from Sharapova [see 2nd item down]

• NY Times give some times to Sacha Baron Cohen

• My visual idea of Heaven: the Fiery Furnaces pose in front of The Cyclone

• Repeat: Rooney, out of his league

• Name sure to be missing from many a Fantasy Football drafts: Adimchinobe Echemandu [via Wannamaker]

• Eight Men Out trading cards

• Too Brian Pepperishly gross to be real [via The Zach Attack]

• Appy polly loges, but had to drop a 2nd TSG link cause they always have the A1 mug shots: Goldsmeller

• Ackbar strikes again

• I was this close to plastering this HOT PIC OF A GIRL STICKING CORN UP HER WHOOTANANNY all up on this site so you’d get canned from your jobs too, but decided to play it safe with the following pic, which came from this greatness collection of strange 70s ABBAesque boy bands. [via Made of Brawny and Richard the Richie]