I’m Learning To FlyBut I Aint Got WingsBut I Do Gots Thighs
21. Jul, 2005 
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While the search continues for Holy Tail that is Jenny Wright, may I briefly shift our attention to another long lost 80s screen gem? As I was bumbling round looking for infos on The Boy Who Could Fly, I was reminded of the pulchritudinousnessness girl next door who believed the boy next door was a boy who could fly. She seemed so virginal, yet highly vaginal, and her name be Lucy Deakins. She didn’t have much of a career, sides being River Phoenix’s lil loveita in Little Nikita and Chris Young’s snack bar snack in The Great Outdoors, but nonethebreast, made an impact on a young me. I don’t wanna really want bother her in this day and rage, as she’s since married, dropped the Deakins for Webb, and bore a child, but just kinda wanna make sure that all is well in her world. If you’re reading this former Deakins, I think you’re more splendid than Splenda and would love to buy you a dessert of yer choice at DQ that’s sweeter than you. This offer is not valid in states that don’t observe Daylight Savings Time…
• Congress to extend Daylight Savings Time by 2 fargin months?!??! WTFiddlesticks? First Indiana sells out and now this? I think they’re out to get me and make me sweat my grundle off since I voted for Lohan/Dukakis in ’04. I don’t even wanna think about what’s possible if Heath Shuler Goes To Washington… and not as a sorryarsed QB who cursed the Skins from ’94 on.
• The Charlatans UK ready follow-up to 2004’s Up At The Lake. America still awaits a release of 2004’s Up At The Lake
• Statler & Waldorf, still more credible than Gene Shalit [via JJ]
• Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny THE TEASER SITE!
• Spank the lord, cause Mr Fantastic would’ve been the mos unfanstatsic choice for 007
• The Chem Bros love on Charlotte Church hates on the Pope
• Coming soon to a theater near you: Evan Rachel Wood’s Citizen Kane, Loverboy, and Frankenhooker.
• Andy Rooney slummin it on a Central Iowa rag? Possib, since I know he loathes Duran Duran.
• The Fingertips Project, in the key of TMBG [via Metafilter]
• Google maps the Moon, and apparently Hitler [zoom in sez Gorilla] Still waiting for one of Endor. They have an older code, but it czechs out.
• (should be left) Undiscovered
• Please, no more Numma Numma knockoffs… hispecially ones that don’t even try [via Zach de la Roachclip]
• Keds, the official shoes of Gypsies
• Boof & Stiles love them some beavers
• Toiletgarten
• Airline Meals
• Asian People Porking In Cars might juss be the new Catholic High School Girls in Trouble [semish NSFW via My Man Marvkus]
• Anna Smashnova, sorta like Maria Sharapova, cept looks like a shemale hooker from the Gaza Strip Club. But I’m almost US Open to anything…
