Why Is TWS.orgSlowly Turning IntoThe First 5 Minutes of EachSix Feet Under?
10. Aug, 2005 
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I heard of tall people living shorter lives, but this is forking forktaculous!! And why is everyone all of the sudden leaving earth, but not by way of crappy NASA shuttles? Can’t we make death history like we’re trying to do with poverty? Maybe we can all donate money or get Cpt Geldof to start Live Lives 88 so we can bring peoples attention to this death epidemic! Seriously, the mortality rate is 100%. And if we just sit back and don’t do anything, nothing will get done and then we’ll have to listen to the Beatles ‘Something’ [d-lode Harrison/Clapton live jounks] just to get thing the things.
That doesn’t make a lick of sense either, so bacon lettuce move on and take a peepy poo at the list of roles our 7′ 6″ friend had on his resume (better than mine, so no wonder he was employed so often): Tiny, Demon, Toto, Richard Blunderbore, Giant, Karl the Giant, Tiny Firefly, Human Sasquatch, Gaunt, Ogre, Lothar, and what would have been more genius than Uncle Rico living in a closet in Real Genius, playing Andre the Giant in a biopic. Good thing the dude wasn’t popular enough during the salad days of Gheorghe Muresan, cause he may have destroyed his career co-starring with Billy Crystal.
Wasn’t that info useless? I think so. Anywayski, in my sleuthagesing for all things Jolly White Giant, I discovered that Linda Blair got some big ole tatty tangy tazzles tas! [SFW]
Now spread the word and tell people not to die. I’m sick to death of this death sickness!!
