Gay Expectationsby Charles Dickintheass

Brokeback Mountain
Why All The Anal Roaming In Wyoming?
View Trailer

Ang Lee is incapable of making a bad movie. While many of you would qwikly poo-poo his Hulk, I woo-who it, as it is the best comic book movie since the OG Batman… as long as u erase the last 10 minutes of it from your memory where Nick Nolte becomes like super lightning man or something for no reason. Even his entry into the Clive Owen BMW Hire series [d-lode] was moneybags mcgee (which not so crazily, was also home to Guy Ritchie’s last good film [d-lode])!! And what Mr Lee is capable of doing is delivering, time and time again, deeply rich films that explore humanity in both modern and traditional ways, regardless of whichever genre he’s working in. And you can now add ‘gay cowboy’ to that growing list of genres he’s been tackling to a T. Even if yer a homophobe or hate homonyms, you will find yerself falling in love with this story of two men who wish they knew how to quit each other… or prevent themselves from hugging denim clothes in closets. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal both chip in eggsalad work as the two gay cowboys in question. I was so taken by their relationship that I was yearnin to see even mo bucking of the broncos than Mr Lee allowed. And if they don’t do it for ya, the stunning Alberta, Canada background settings, which stand in for GAY Wyoming, will make you pull yer pants down ’round yer cankles, or at least take yer breath away. Gay Cowboys was very similar in tone and style to the only other E. Annie Proulx work to be adapted to the screen, The Shipping News. That wasn’t the greatest movie I had ever seen, or maybe even of that year, but as time has passed I have found a special place for it in my heart. And for my flaming cowboys the same will be true, as I’m sure many days of hugging denim in closets await. And although I may have demanded more pitcher and catcher action, I always have and will always continue to love the boobs.

Recommended for those who like: cowboys as harmless as Hubba Bubba’s Gumfighter, THAT so bestest song from the trailer [d-lode], and Shakespeare’s wife’s bazoombies (NSFW)

Possible Porno Name: The Hump That Broke The Camel’s Back, While I Was Titty F#@king Your Effin Majestic Mountains

Unsatisfied with this? Or maybe yer yearnin for a movie with a cowboy even gayer than these pokes? Netflix Can’t Stop The Music, the gayest movie that doesn’t ever admit that it’s gay, although it’s gayer than Randall Gay, Ben Gay, and Marcia Gay Harden combined!

Further Fun: Lasso yerself some man crotch or play some fabulous games on the Atlantic States Gay Rodeo Association site. The ‘Easy Cowboy Butts’ jigsaw puzzle is a personal fav! Did I mention dat I heart BOOOOOOOOOBS? (NSFW, DUUUUUUUHVS)