Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s HOTTTttt

When A Stranger Calls
Whatever You Do, Don’t Dial *69, Listen To Fatboy Slim’s ‘Star 69’ [d-lode (couldnt find the REM one)], Or Rent 2046Nine, The Porno That Doesn’t Eggsist But Should!
View Trailer

The Review: Simon West (director of such unworthy Thighs Wide Shut mentioning like Lara Croft: Boo Raider, The General’s Boo, and Con-Boo) had the golden opp to remake a movie that was damn ripe for a remake. Too bad RE/MAX coulde’ved produced a better remake. It shirley didn’t help Simon’s cause that they (and whoever ‘THEY’ are should be punished by watching the original Punisher on A-B repeat) ruined the plot’s ‘twist’ in the trailer. So what do we get? Minimal scares, mountainous topography, architectural pornography, and ZIPPO in the nudity dept, although we are teased by the babysitter sweating in a gym, enjoying a popsicle (she’s a biter), and turning OFF a shower (instead of on, and getting in). Howevs, Simon, in his version (certainly not ‘vision’), did do one butter den the the OG one: the elimination of the final two tedious acts in favor of eggspanding the first act, where all the steak and Sizzler lies.

And now for…

The REAL Review: OMForkinGodShammgod, Simon West is a genius!!! Even more so than if all the SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 used Baby Einstein products while noshing on dem broke-arse Einstein Bros Bagels’ bagels!! When A Stranger Calls is a lickreffic 1 hour and 23 minuted commercial/the mos yummy spackledocious beat-off matz of the ’06, featuring the tite ASSests and TITSests of the mos beautiful grrrl on planet Earth, worm, and Jim, who I’m happy to report is no longer a lady in waiting. DAT’S RIGHT, YO!!!! So peas put yer hands together (over yer cock, and or in yer vaginas) and well cum the one who’s reign will be more of a love supreme than the offspring of Rainn Wilson cross-bred with Rain Phoenix AND Rain Pryor, while listening to the G n R’s ‘November Rain’ [d-lode]… everyone needs some time, on their own, like me, everytime I think of

Her Royal
Thighness VII
I, I, Capt’n
Camilla Belle Routh
& the story of how we met

Hey, it’s me.
You are so F%$KING HOT!

Will you eggcept a collect(ion of cum from my)
c(b)all from a Mr Mister Thighly T Thighbold?

Lets get outta these wet clothes
and lettuce butter my corn!

OK, my brand spankin new babycakes,
make me dinner, do my laundry,
pick up Dakota after school,
stay wet…

…and suck my corn!!

and they lived happily ever after shave!!

Recommended for those who like (which for some reason was omitted from the last batch o reviews): Roy from the US Office, Lance Henriksen’s vox, and funny things people say in theaters that aren’t funny

Possible Porno Name: When A Stranger Cups My Balls

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix Jailbait Babysitter [sorta NSFW], not cause I’ve seen it, cause I haven’t, but cause John Goodman is it(???)

Further Fun: the le ghetto TRAILER of the le ghetto straight to TV sequel of the original, When A Stranger Calls Back, starring both Carol Kane and Charles Durning, who may or may not be Brian Dennehy, although all THREE co-starred on some TV thing called The Girls In Their Summer Dresses and Other Stories by Irwin Shaw

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): BREAST IN SHOW

Seems our new Ms Thang is already gettin into swing of tings

AWWWW SHUCKS!!!
[via Double Black & Tan & Decker]
As we presents our TEN finalists for Corn Me In History!!!

1. The ASSassination of HRT the VI Warshawski

by Bowfingerer

2. Big Thigh

by Korean BBQer

3. Corn Corn Me Do

by Molder & Sully

4. Crossing The Corningware

by Mrs Johnny Dollar

5. Deep Corn

by Pakula Shaker

6. The Garden of Eating

by Richie Rich Little

7. I’m All Up In Alba’s A$$

by Jus Snot

8. Mac The Knife Some Butter On Me Corn

by Johnny Dollar

9. Stop Touching My Thigh

by Co-Moo-Town Snackers

10. Viet Corn

by Popin O’Hymanz

VOTE
Poles closes Sundays before the Pro Bowls, or something, and the WINNER will be announced on Monday!! Vote often and Quinn Early, cause there aint no limit to how many times you can rock the demo-crazy-atic process!!

And in clothing, Bless our leaders! For they keep our country free from awful Danish cartoons and keep our country open to deli-dishious danishes!