Have You Driven An Oliver Ford Davies Lately?
07. Feb, 2006 
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ABC is planning to take a dump on its bestest show, YES, I’m talking about INVASION and not Lost (or Fencing With The Stars either!), juss so Orlando Jones can mix things up with Oscar-winning actor Martin Landau. But don’t fret kids, cause I doubt we’ll ever see the werds ‘Oscar’ and ‘Orlando Jones’ in the same sentence again. WHY GAWD WHY!>!~@#>!@#!@ Where’s the david justice? Is it cause Evan Peters is the new Brock Peters or looks like Jack White Jr? Or the audience consists of me and my tall semitic roomie?? Sio, prepare the corntroopers and head to ABC’s HQ. For this can mean only ONE thing…
Spanks ‘tastic, cause I really need that $10.50 to purchase a grundle hair clipper [NSFW that you should click on even if yer work isn’t safe for things that are not safe for work!]
Wanna know who to bet on in any major sporting event? Be sure to czech in with Bandwagon Boy, the day AFTER
Goonies 2 R’nt good enuff
All work and no play makes HFutureRT Camilla Belle scared shi(r)tless
Stalking Samaire Armstrong at Kinko’s
The Jizzfeld (aka the Ziegfeld) be takin a month of from showing crap to bring the screen’s biggest and brightest back to the biggest and brightest screen, like The Jones trilogy, LOTR, some gay musicals, + MO! [via Tom Wellington, the world’s greatest living actor & AOoF]
Streaking of the Jizzfeld, here’s yer gran’pa-pa’s beat-off matz [SFW]
Phrase that should never hever appear in print hever never hagain: ‘fingering Aaron Neville‘
Hopefully this means he’s spending a wee bit more time on those dreadful Extras scripts
The wurstest Mexican wrestling movie starring Jack Black and directed by the man who brought you Napoleon Dynamite has gots to be Nacho Libre. Thats good news for The Neverending Story III, although it has nothing to do with Jared Hess or Mexican wrestling
Learning never ends: the voice at the beginning of Us3’s ‘Cantaloop’ [d-lode] is that of midget maestro Pee Wee Marquette (think Gary Coleman of the 50s), former doorman turned MC of the famed Birdland, from Art Blakey’s A Night at Birdland, Vol. 1 [stream WMV file]
[snap via MoP]
The 2006 U.S. Olympic Team Roster, By State. Who knew that Mini-soda was like the center of the universe for American curling?
Biggest Super Bowl Disappointment: Joe Namath did not attempt to hump Suzy Kolber’s leg like it was the ’03
Gheorghe Muresan still haunts the DC haunts
SPiN’s Hottest Significant Other Tournament: Foxy Four
The internets best kept mp3 blazzle secret: Puritan Blister. Doesn’t hurt that I’m a zucker for mash-potato-ups. And thanks to the PB, I’m totally thighing out on my thIghpod to ‘Smells Like Oh My Gosh’ Nirvana vs Basement Jaxx [d-lode]
So den, how do songs get stuck in your head?
How do astronauts go to the bathroom in space? Goo thing freeze-dried ice cream doesn’t give one the runs
X-Entertainment’s Freezer, which aint as Freezy as Freakies
The Mohammed & Christ cartoon that will soon spark the burning and looting of Canadian embassies all up in the Middle East
Not as in-depth as the Borat entry, but czech out Wikipedia’s bit on You’re The Man Now Dog, if yer a man OR dog, man! [via Wananmaker]
Before you DARE enter our ultraFAB Oscar Pool (group name: House of Wax Dat Ass password: neckbeard, $10 to rule them all), you may wanna get a leg up on the competition by peeping the live-action and animated shorts, but only if yer an LAer or an NYer
So that’s what you call that
Park Slope 2009 according to Freejack… wonder if La Bagel Delight survives?
Brille-YANT commercial [MaybeNSFW via Fleaski]
And this just in: SIDE BOOBS still RULE!!
Pee ess – don’t forget to look at yesterday’s corn masterpoops and get yer effin VOTE on or DIE, like Puffdido’s career
