Mail Chavinism

24. Apr, 2006 0 Comments

Twats the bestest word that’s been a part of the English vernacular since the ’04, but hasn’t been uddered much at all on our dirty Christian shores? Chav. So what the goldenfiddlestix is a ‘chav’? ‘cordin to the omniscient Wikipedia, ‘chav’ refers to a subcultural stereotype of a person with fashions such as flashy ‘bling’ jewellery and counterfeit designer clothes such as Burberry / Burkley or sportswear, an uneducated, uncultured, impoverished background, a tendency to congregate around places such as fast-food outlets, bus stops, or other shopping areas, and a culture of antisocial behaviour.

In America, these kinda people would be a crossbreed of white trash and, the still whore-able-lee monikered, wiggers. Spankfully mos of the chavs hail from the old country, which automatically makes them more cooler than William H Macy givin Coolio an HJ with ice cubes, although some Americans have been given the label, such as Britney, Christina, and 50 Cent.

So why on earth am I brining up this whole chav crap? Cause if I could be one man and bang one woman from the Queen’s realm, I’d be Mike Skinner of the Streets and I’d do Jennifer Ellison of the big tits. And both of thems are textbook eggzamples of all things chav

Additional ‘chav’ shazz…

ChavScum.co.uk

ChavWorld.co.uk

Famous chavs

Prince William chavs it up

What’s your chav rating?

Not satisified wit the above def of ‘chav’? Try 350 more at Urban Dic

British buzzwords, from 1904 to 2004

‘Fit But You Know It (Alternate Version)’ by the Streets wit Kano, Tinchy Stryder, Don’eo (of So Solid Crew) and Lady Sovereign [d via More Milky Way]

Slightly speaking of Lady Sovereign, she’s chav-tastic to the bone and kicks major glass and major payne. She’ll be at Coachella, Lolla, and fittingly, but don’t you know it, opening for the Streets this summer roberts. What this lil grimester sound like? Peep her myspace space or rock her ‘Hoodie’ [d] or its Mizz Beats remix [d]

You are now exiting chav-land…

Last week we praised Lily Allen for having the world’s greatestist myspace background, but had no idea of two things: one, she’s Keith Allen‘s daughter, and two, her music also kicks major glass, in a softer Lady Sovereignish kinda way. Think Feist, but not as coma enducing. You can hear some of her sweet trax on the space of my or go with the only ones I could find for yer d-ing pleasure, ‘Smile’ [d] & this FAB 50 minute mix thingie featuring her shiz + random shazzle like Dizzie Rascal, Rod Stewart, and some yodeling stossel [d]

Oh LORD ALMATY!!! The Prez of Kazakhstan’s daughter defends Borat!?!?! + Best of Borat vid

Norman Chad wins $300 bux for takin top prize in the 54th US Bowler Writing Competition, Editorial divish. That’s 240 times Shirley can pay the man

David Zucker’s spoof glossary

Fuck the cows and all that other shit. Here comes the terrapins [Brawny Boy]

MisShapes, TV’s Cheers stizz. Women, can’t live with em, pass the beer nuts [Ms Mod]

Average Homeboy! + more on the homeboy himself [Newbs]

Beavis & B tackle Blur’s ‘Parklife’ [My Man Marvkus]

Blessed be Page 3 and Danni, who be straight outta Coventry [NSFW]

Donald Duck: The Spirit Of 1943

Cinemorgue

davidbowieisverydisappointedinyou.com [P-bitch]

Be honest, which one of ewes was searchin for ‘joan cusack nude pics only‘? [see #20]