Houston, We HaveA Problem Child

The Omen
The Devil Wears Osh-Kosh
[title raped from Amy’s Robot fan Agent 0019]
Trailers

Faithful? Yes. Good? No. Bad? No. Eh? Yes. Meh? Ever more so. Huh? Fla. Ga? Sna! You get the idea… or if you read this site regularly, you probably don’t get the idea cause I’m more cryptic than the Crypt Keeper joining the Bloods’ rival gang. Anyshoe, the first 1/2 is as tiresome as da Da Vinci Code, but the second 1/2 scarborough fairs a lot better. Why? Less and less of Julia Stiles, who has a scarier face than the kid playing Damien. Seriously, what’s up with her face? It’s more round than Gnarls’ moundish cousin! As for the kid, he’s perfect(ly GAY), and since his career will probably go nowhere AND he’s boviously a fan of remakes (like co-star Liev Schreiber) I suggest he sign up for Problem Child Redux. And how bout my M.I.A. girl Mia F.a.r.r.o.w.? She’s been in a bunch o junk as of late, but she certainly hasn’t lost her edge as a great fargin actress, and bee leaves it or not, her looks as well. She’s pure evil here, and I think she drew inspiration from the hell that the Woodman put her thru. And how bout Hollywurst’s mos minor playa, but major talent Knox Harrington David Thewlis? Dude’s more dependable than yer grandmother takin a dump in her Depends after a night of hard dick sucking and burrito munchin. OK, I’ll stop talkin about the actors (sorry Michael Gambon) and your gran’ma, but what else is there really to talk about when the remake doesn’t make better than the make it’s remaking? I dunno, PROBLEM CHILD?? Ok, so the lil kid who was Junior (Michael Oliver) in Problem Child [trailer] is… wait for it… wait for it… a road crew member for the Samples!!!!!!!!!

Possible Porno Name: The O-Men & wO-men

Unsatisfied with this? C’mon, u effin kiddin me??? Netflix the original gangster version [(do watch this) trailer] or PROBLEM CHILD!!!!!

Apt MPupil3: ‘Devil Inside’ by INXS [d]

IMDb Sweeney: Harvey Stephens, who played Damien in the OG versh, shows up in 2.0 as Tabloid Reporter #3. Also, I didn’t realize that the nanny in 1.0 is not only Jack Palance’s daughter Holly, but Robin Williams’ super fly wife in the much forgotten but much bestest Best of Times. And none of this woulda been possible with out the words of David Seltzer, who also wrote Lucas AND My Giant!!

Hey, It Beats ‘Shiloh Nouvel’: after being induced for 6 days, a woman gave birth to a 6lb 6oz boy on 6/6/6. And the boy’s name? Take a wyld stallions guess! [Blink Is The New Pog]

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

until next time, the balcony is clothed…