White Hearts, Red Dots

The Namesake
Kumar Goes White
Trailer (probably the best I’ve seen all year)

Adapted from the vastly popular Jhumpa Lahiri novel of the same name, The Namesake is the Indian-American equivalent of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I don’t mean that it’s a dopey comedy filled with more stereotypes than a Michael Richards stand-up act, but it’s an exploration of an old world mixing it up in the new world, when second generation children grow up in a society much different than their immigrant parents did, and where each family member must figure out where their cultural identity lies.

Instead of a Windex spraying father and an overbearing mother, we’re invited into the lives of the more down to (planet) earth Ashoke and Ashima Ganguli (both eggceptionally played by Bollywooders Irfan Khan and Tabu), who were brought together by way of an arranged marriage and brought from thier native land to NYC in search of a better tomorrow. In a span of two fast-paced hours, we see the couple adapt to their new surroundings, be fruitful and multiple, and then watch their children as they turn more into everyday Americans than yesteryear Indians. It’s a lot of ground to cover in that time span, which is both the movie’s greatestist asset and weakness. Asset, cause the film never stops being engaging, but a weakness, cause it feels like some bits are glossed over or not even fully explored… that’s probably what made the book such a good read

So I’m sure you’re wondering about the name and the actor who plays him, for heaven’s sake. Well, Mr & Mrs Ganguli temporarily name their first boy Gogol, as in the Russian writer Nikolai, not as in Golgo 13. Hollywood stoner Kal Penn is refreshing in role of the culturally criss-crossed Gogol, but it’s not the kind of performance that you’d say is an absolute breakthrough, as I’m sure many had hope it would. I think it’s still possinle, but he would have keep working in more films like these and less in ones where he’s required to have a BA in Bong-ology. Either way, his future is looking quite bubbly for Kumar

Possible Porno Name: For Taint’s Sake

Mirar Nair: Nair directed the sultry ’96er Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love, which had Rome‘s Niobe gettin busy with the likes of Lost‘s Sayid. And yes, since tits about the KS, there’s plenty of NSFWness to go round!

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): honestly, the trailer was better than the movie, but this thang is fo sho a Jeepers Worth A Peepers•

Music & Lyrics
Tone Definitely Not Worth Running To The Theater For
Trailer

This is like every other lame-brained rom-com you’ve ever seen, cept this one finally pits Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore in the ways of love and Mad-Lib Hollywood screenwriting. I bet Hollywurst is already trying to figure out a way to put Adam Sandler and Sandra Bullock into some sorta wacky boy meets grrrrl situation. Too bad they already used up that time traveling mail box idea! Anywho, Music & Lyrics is about nothing you need to concern yourself with, yet it’s still charming. Charming only cause of its leads and not with the material that they’re working with. This movie is a poopstain, but if you’re forced into it, like yours drooly, there are two things that make it OK to not slit your eyes, repoopulous stizz…

1) the beerlarious video for Hugh Grant’s Wham!ish 80s band Pop! (the em pee 3 can be found b-low)

2) the hotness that is up and coming on my face Haley Bennett

[more fapness can b found on HerSpace & GQ]

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges•… which basically means it’s more entertaining than 300

Rental Round Up(dog)

Idiocracy
Trailer

Mike Judge’s his and her stair-a-cool Office Space follow up is and was the breastest rental of ’07/sorta-unreleased movie of ’06! Tis quite a shame that Fox had no faith in the film cause tits mo funny than the last 42 Frat-Pack films that were released! And yes, Earl Mann is da mann! Not only did he provided the VO for Idiocracy but he’s also one of the main voices for NFL films

and oh yeah, The Holiday blows wurster than a Tony Danza talk show. Jack Black tried to be serious, but I don’t think anyone really asked for it. Spreaking of, Tenacious D in ‘The Pick of Destiny’ was outta control bananas for the first 10 minutes. Sadly, the rest of the film was more of a grapefruit

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…