Old Line Cinema

30. Jul, 2007 0 Comments

Hairspray
Tracying
Trailers & Mo

next they'll remake the cooking show TWO FAT LADIES

Ever see John Waters’ funtastic ’88 salute to hair-dos and hair-don’ts called Hairspray? Then you’ve seen Hairspray. If you haven’t then you should rent it. If yer nearest Netflix shipping facility aints gots in stock, then you should wait cause everything else bein called Hairspray is not really Hairspray. Now I haven’t seen the Broadway musical, not cause I’m not gay, I’m actually 1/16th gay, but do the no-brainer math here folks: 1 theater ticket costs $110 and 10 movie tickets costs the same amount. Unless you see Chuck & Larry 10 times, yer gonna get a better value at the movie theater. Anywho, as a staged musical, I’m sure the songs are great and a rip-taylor roaring time will be had by all (although I’ve heard that no one in the play has blue hair, which confuses the living day and nighlights outta me), but what passes on stage doesn’t always on screen. Hairspray, like The Producers before it, is making its way back to celluloid, via the Great White Way. And like The Producers, yet not even close to the monstrosity that that was, the songs add NOTHING to the original source material that shoulda juss been left original. Tits not for a lack of trying, cause everything in this jazzed-up version is even jazzier than Jazzy Jeff giving Maxi Jazz an HJ during Jazz Week: THE CAST! THE DANCE NUMBERS!! THE COLORS!!! THE AMOUNT OF GAY PEOPLE WORKING ON THE FILM!!!! Don’t spank me wrong, there’s credit to be doled out (hispecially for that thumbmazin cast), but why bother giving props de leon when New Line should juss re-release the original next year, for its 20th annie verse airy!

Everybody Must Get Stoned: visit the Cold Stone Creamery in Great Neck, Strong Island, where star Nikki Blonsky went from selling scoops to becoming one!

The Beaver Monologues: the thought of Tony Danza in a Broadway show is beyond scary, but Jerry Mathers, aka Beaver Cleaver? He’s in the midst of a 3-month run in Hairspray that sounds so purrfect that we may have to fork over $110! The key word is ‘may’

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But Not Stinkin Original Hairspray

Rental Round-Up Dawg: if you Bestflix one movie that isn’t Hairspray make it David Fincher’s bestest work, and by far, one of the bestest films this year, Zodiac. And whatever you do, don’t BUY it cause in the ’08 there’ll be a director’s cut with more features than Zodiac suspects!!