Crowning Around

Freedom isn’t free or dom, and ever since 9/11 our freedom to climb into Lady Liberty’s head has been taken away, which was understandable, but purty dom if you ask us. well, it’s the dawning of a new era and in this new era we’re gettin some of our rights back, but sadly, being able to keep our shoes on at all times in an security line at an airport aint one of them. next time we see the shoe-bomber, we’re gonna kick him in the nards, like wolfman, with the heaviest boot we can find. anywho, the Statue of Liberty’s crown has finally reopened to visitors, and spanks to the heads-up (pun not really intended) by the fine folks over NewYorkology we made ressies to go all up in that shiz the day they went on sale. only 30 peeps max are allowed up per hour, so it’s thongly suggested that you do in fact make ressies (next available loose slots aint until rOctober!)

the fun ferry ride isn’t as gay as Danny Ferry

but then again, what is?

it’s so rad that we’ve accomplished two dreams within a week

although the Clockwork hotspots holds mo meaning to us

the trek up her crown aint easy, being 10 degrees hotter inside her vagina than it is outside of it + it’s 354 steps, most up a teeny tiny spiral staircase that will prevent some fatty boom booms and out of shape shakers from making it (somehow we defied both of those setbacks)

and once you get to the top, there’s room for like 6 people to stand. it’s a lot smaller of a platform then you’d think it would be. who knew she had such a small head juss like us?

and while the crown may have been closed for 8 short years, the torch has been off limits since the 1916

which is bad news for fans of Hitchcock’s fab Saboteur

hammazin how a thing of such beauty…

could give way to one of the ugliest alt jerseys mt EVERest

we’re not really into chicks with curly or wavy hair

but luckily for Lady Lib, we do love ones that are a bit green

looking down is not advised if you have vertigo, psycho or topaz

we always thought dat she was readin a trashy Danielle Steele novel

how could we not take an upskirt photo?

unfortunately we missed out on an upyo photo

let freedom ring

forever, and like Neil D said, TODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!

speaking of coming to America, the ferry also takes you to Ellis Island, which is kinda cool, but not that much since they don’t let you tour the rundown abandoned buildings and contract TB, smallpox and largepox and mediumpox