Abs of Steal This Review Space

we liked ourselves some Twilight 1 (think much of that had to do with the off the meat rack baseball scene + thinking about Ashley Greene nekkid, and less about all the endless romantic brooding), but not enuff to go see a midnight screening of #2 (+ we also missed out on a pressy screening too), so we turn our space over to someone a lil bit mo appropriate to talk about hot guy’s abs and their raised eyebrows (our only rule was that they add multiple Zs to a word or 7). ladies and ghents, without further a scroop, the former Thighmistress’ review of…

The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. I am crazily obsessed with the Twilight series. I can’t get enough. Edward is def my soulmate and though he’s fictional, I still kind of believe he might actually be out there, and that one day he’ll find me and we’ll fall madly in love. The wait for New Moon was excruciating

Twilight, to be honest, wasn’t spectacular. As a fan of the books it’s fantastic to be able to see these characters come to life on screen, but the first movie was just okay. New Moon is a serious improvement. New director, new direction! To begin with, it’s just gorgeous – the town of Forks (aka Vancouver) has never looked so lush and green and there are a bunch of big, sweepy shots and fancy camera work. (Those are technical terms.) The characters simply look better too – Bella was sickly pale and unattractive in the first movie, if you ask me. I had a lot of problems believing my Edward would actually fall for that mess. But in New Moon, I’ll admit (grudgingly) that she’s looking good. The entire Cullen family looks amazing too – better makeup, better contact lenses, better wigs. And even the most dedicated members of Team Edward will appreciate Jacob’s kick ass bod. I mean HOLY. SHIT. That werewolf is ripped. The entire audience literally gasped when he took his shirt off for the first time, we were in awe. Kudos, Taylor

New Moon picks up where Twilight left off, but quickly shatters whatever brief happiness Bella might have found with her sparkly vampire. Edward leaves her and she falls into a deep depression. The only thing that lessens her pain is a budding friendship with Jacob, a studly werewolf. Of course, there is a long standing feud between the two ‘species’. If you can forget for a second that we’re talking about vampires and werewolfs, the story is actually really serious and intense. It’s the beginning of a heartbreaking love triangle. There are philosophical issues about whether vampires have souls, and whether the Cullen family should ‘change’ Bella so she can live forever. And it’s super hot because Edward could easily kill Bella, as could Jacob. They both love her and they’re both dangerous! Excitement!

Taylor Lautner is convincing in the film, he surprised me. R Pattz is barely in it but he’s sex-ay so his acting doesn’t really matter all that much. Kristen Stewart is a spazz, but she does a really great job. She’s in nearly every shot and I didn’t get sick of her. When Edward leaves her at the beginning of the film, it’s heartbreaking to watch. She loves this vampire so damn much. So I was skeptical about there being any chemistry between K Stew and Tay Lautner, but it’s definitely there. For my least favorite book in the series, the movie really impressed me. It made me like Jacob, which is like, total blasphemy. Don’t tell Edward I said that.

Verdictgo: the lady say, DEF Breast In Show. we’ll see it ourselves soon enuff and throw our 9 cents in. stay pooned!

New Moon howls today at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…