Johnny Storm Drain

Captain America: The First Avenger
Drags of Our Fathers
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG13 | 125 min

As a movie, Captain America is OK, we guess, but as a superhero movie, it’s like a Mad-Libs fill in the blanks paint by numbers road more traveled exercise in nothing newness here.  Sure, it may be a bit ‘different’ by taking place during WWII, draped in a Flags of Our Fathers look, but that’s not enuff to make up for one giant narrative void.  Here’s the story: there’s a scrawny guy (Chris Evans, who had more fun, and we did too, when he was the Human Torch), who becomes unscrawny (by way of Stanley Tucci‘s questionable German accent), and then the newly unscrawny guy needs to stop someone who may be even more unscrawnier than him (Hugo Weaving, with nothing to do but show off his crazy eyes and teeth and like shoot some blue lasers from time to time).  On team unscrawny guy there’s Hayley Atwell, Tommy Lee Jones and a band of silly looking boringest basterds (nice bowler hat & mustache, you jacka$$!!!).  Weaving’s got Toby Jones, who totally wishes he was the face melting Nazi from Raiders.  A battle ensues?  Or something?  Not really.  Can’t remember anything that actually happened in this movie, cept they tried to sell war bonds, and couldn’t sell a story

War Bondage: Al Capp, creator of Li’l Abner, and raunchy war bond posters!!!!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Captain is all over America and a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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