Pica Pic might juss be the darn rootinest tootinest coolestestest illestestest webslight we’ve ever seen!!!

not only do they display these 80s handheld video game gems, but THEY LET YOU PLAY THEM!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG!!!!  we used to own this escape from jail one and plum FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT!!!!! DUH IS US!!!!!!

via Spaxula via Engadgent

Elektra Luxx
Ultra Suxxxxxxx
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

So, there’s this movie about a porn star with a heart of gold, and a pile of problems, played by everyone’s dream porn star Carla Gugino.  It co-stars the likes of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marley Shelton, Timothy Olyphant, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Adrianne Palicki, Malin Akerman, Vincent Kartheiser, Lucy Punch, Justin Kirk, and even tosses in a cameo for Julianne Moore as the Virgin Mary!!  Woah, that’s a ton of foxy ladies and some choice-y male funsters, and it’s sorta about porn!!!  This could be sexy AND fun AND sexy fun!!! Right?

9,000,0,00000,00000,00% WRONG.  Within 2.3 minutes you can tell that this is dread on arrival.  How all these talented actors agreed to be in such a below-amateur production is more mind-boggling than playing Boggle against Dr Mindbender with only ‘Qu’ dice (see illustration at the bottom)!!!  And worst yet, apparently this is a sequel to a movie we’ve never heard of called Women In Trouble.  There must be something to the 1st one to warrant a 2nd pass, but we don’t even want to find out why, or even bother figuring out what secret info writer/director Sebastian Gutierrez has over these actors that he uses to blackmail them into acting in his greasy pieces of cruddddddddd.  There’s already rumblings about a 3rd movie called Women In Ecstasy, or more like AUDIENCE IN MISERY: PART 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Repent For Your Sins: you can make yer own Carla Gugino porn movie by A-B repeating her fine NSFW work in Sin City.  much easier on the eyes and ears than Luxxxxxxxx

Verdictgo: Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous

Luxx suxxxxxxxxxxxxx times like 9 bajillion in NY/LA/Boston & Seattle next Friday and hopefully nowhere after that

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

+ Boggle Black Letters photos!

+ Poggle The Lesser!

Clue the movie may juss be the funniest comedy of balls thyme. it is certainly one of the mos sharp, wittiest and well-written ones of balls thyme, and if we can’t agree on that, can we at least agree it’s the greatest adaptation of a board game of balls thyme? deal! (good luck Battleship!)

anywho, the moist ingenious bizzle of it all is that the film has 3 endings!!!! in theaters they only played one ending per showing. as a child we saw the Mrs Peackock one and then had to wait a whole year for the VHS release in order to see the other two endings. oh the humanity!!!

anywho part II, did you know that there was a 4th ending???? said ending had Wadsworth the butler (a role Tim Curry should have won an Oscar for, and yet he wasn’t even NOMINATED!!!!) being the sole murderer and then revealing that he poisoned the champagne that all the players (Col Mustard, Mrs White, et al) drank and that they would shortly die!  then the police storm in and before they take Wadsworth away, he re-tells the evening’s tale in great detail.  Everyone, of course, is beyond mesmorized, and then at a point where he opens the front door, he runs out, slams the door, locks the police and players inside and hops into a police car to escape.  as he’s about to drive off, he smells dog sh%t (a recurring joke!) and looks in the rearview mirror to see the German shepherds sitting in the backseat, persumably waiting to pounce on him!

you can read the 4th ending script here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this 4th ending was actually filmed, but later cut cause it was probably a lil to grim to include.  no footage has yet to resurface, but the following image from the movie’s novelization (which includes that 4th ending) exists!  here, the evangelist/chief (Howard Hesseman) is trying to take down Wadsworth

we will pay you $8 if you can find this lost footage!!!

one trip to Funspot is never enuff,  so we made a second trip there this past weekend (especially since Crossbow & Fire Truck were out of order last time and weren’t this time!!!).  and since new ye olde games (how come we’ve never played the sorta recent Crazy Taxi before????) keep getting rotated into the mix at the world’s largest arcade, two trips aint gonna suffice none neither.  here’s some Arcade Flyers of sum of them new ye olde beauties we coin-opted to flidazzle riznazzle

do yerself a flavor and add Funspot, right below Graceland, on places to visit before you die

& if you haven’t already, find some way to watch the doc Chasing Ghosts: Beyond The Arcade, which, if you can believe it, is > than The King of Kong

Happy 24th Lohan/hag!
FU & yer fire crotch, and Shaq-Fu and a coo-coo Kung Fu?!?!

[via Levittown]