Thighs Wide Shut

The Barnes Foundation II

What’s the difference between the two pictures above (besides that blurry guy)?  Answer – NOTHING (much), except location location location!!!

Against Dr Albert C Barnes‘ explicit last will & testament (please see The Art of The Steal for the full story, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), the Barnes Foundation left its suburban Merion, PA digs, and moved to a much more accessible, and incredible new home in downtown Philly.  The move itself may not be ethically correct (Barnes must be perpetually spinning in his grave), but the fact that many many many many many people are unaware that one of the world’s (if not THE world’s) greatest art collections exists in Pennsylvania is kinda unethical in its own right.  Well, America’s best kept secret aint gonna be a secret no mo!

The new Barnes does the impossible – it recreates something that should have never been recreated, and it does it brilliantly.  Dr Barnes’ specific layout of the art has been delicately reproduced to a T.  The faux home fooled us and nothing fools us!!!  What’s new won’t hurt the experience, but will only enhance it.  Haters will hate, but what’s done is done, and the new Barnes is the best case outcome of a raping of the old Barnes

The Barnes Collection’s new home, on the same grand avenue that houses the Philadelphia Museum of Art + the Rodin Museum, instantly puts Philly on the must stop and see American art map, alongside New York, DC, Chicago and Los Angeles.  If you have eyes, you have to show your eyes this collection.  What more can we say or do to get yer a$$ to The Barnes?  If we had the time and money and firearms, we’d force each and every one of you by gunpoint to go to The Barnes.  But please, let’s lay down our weapons and make Barnes-stormings, not war!!!

there’s Chicago pizza

and then there’s everything else that calls itself pizza which is basically Lender’s bagels

don’t ask where’s the beef, cause you know that shiz was in our stomachs within 8 seconds

and then 10 seconds later, the solids turns into a gaseous state

if you don’t put ketchup on a hot dog, yer juss plain stoopid

we’ll leave it up to you as to how many pickles should go on a dog

this picture is not related to the food above

but is related to how amazing the Wrigley Field bathrooms are!

Wrigley, you know, the place where Balki & Cousin Larry get jiggy with it!

and the place where the Natsies owned the Cubsies

THIS IS WHAT THE SKY LOOKS LIKE IN WRIGLEY!!!

JESUS AND MOSES AND GOD BUILT THIS PLACE!!!

Curly Ws and Rounded Cs in perfect harmony

why can’t we all just get a shlong?

was so blessed to be with and to bring together this trio of fine peepholes

Señor Gombiergas, Joe E Tata & Peabsly P Peabody

this guy was not a part of our party

but he sure knows how to party (in his own mind)

even took time out of our busy eating & Curly W schedule to see things

like potential Quiet On The Sets posts like the Home Alone house!

f$&k The Hunger Lames cause this abandoned women’s hospital is more future bad cool than anything in that stoopid movie

dog bless you Bertrand Goldberg

and this is where Dillinger got plugged

plug in, or tune out, yo!

even got a lil Bahá’í on life

then listened to the Bahá’men

who let the dogs/drugs out?

we were here

and we wish you were too

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this list is life

and farts!

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this picture should hang at the MoMA

this ranch sauce should
be served everywhere

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leftovers?  not bloody likely

indigestion?  bloody likely

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hollandaise holiday sauce

black gold, Bloomington tea

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this is our brains on college

any questions?

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biz sinking at Nick’s
is always mandatory

woman in the background was shocked that we were able to
capture the pour in mid-flight

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blue drinks for all!

good tasting drinks for none!

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rough nite for somebody

but sometimes a necessary evil

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and now for the ‘cultural’
part of our tour

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Zells yeah!!!

fighting Illini? more like losing Illini!!!

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if you can read these
you don’t need glasses

and probably also have a tiny penis

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IU Cinema is a bestestestest

and so was seeing the Cary Grant / Katherine Hepburn comedy Holiday

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we’d follow the RHCP cover band
Funky Monks practically anywhere…

…there’s 8 cent beer
and 18 year old women

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????

does not compute

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America, where everything’s bigger, not necessarily better

you lighters up our lives

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boob grab!!!

but the question is, real boobs???

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LOL!!!!

LOL!!!! continued

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looking for ranch farts from years past?  YOU GOT IT!!!

this is NC in a can

yes we cans. no way he could HATES THESE CANS!!

checked out the State Fair in Raleigh

where the prizes were rather un-a-peel-ing

but the food was fried wide shut to our liking!!!!

WTF is deep fried Kool-Aid????  DON’T DRINK IT!!!!!!

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!!!

yep, a Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburger.  and yep, it was the knees bees of deliciousesnessnessness!!!!

this is a sign that should hang on every tree in the world

and hell, if it had said free fried balls of horseshit, we woulda taken it too!!! EVERYONE LOVES FREE!!!!  GIVE US US US FREE!!!

why do legs of everything taste so bestestest??

although we’re more of a breast man, duhvs!!

wedgies???

who pays for those?  they’re free, and usually unwanted

THAT’S RACIST!!!!!!

AND HILARIOUS!!!

rest easy there buddies

cause one day you’ll make great hamburgers!!!

please dont ask why we took a picture of a cow’s butt

don’t you dare udder a word!!!

safety first wurst!!!

this is enuff to make us never drive or do drugs or have eyes again!!!

Raleigh has a nice lil art museum

cept they have no van Goghs, so in our mind, it’s not a real art museum

then it was off to Charlotte

to waste our time and money watching the Redskins play pee wee football

tried out Price’s Chicken Coop

which wasn’t eggzactly all that it was feathered up to be

skin was nice n crispy, chicken nice n juicy

but it didn’t have any kick to it whatsoever, and all fried chicken muss have a kick to it OR ELSE IT’S AS LAME AS KFC!!!!

only been there twice, but Thomas Street Tavern is easily one of our mos flavorite bars ever

even Slick Willy’s a fan

Joe Pata???

that should read

ps – DUKE SUCKS!!!!

another year, another spot of fun

oh, and the non-arcade game stuff was nice and stuff!

and A Ross Kakoji remains our hero amongst men of a certain age