88th Keyed
the 88th Oscars waz a doozy, and a floozy.  here’s what truly won and lost…
Winners
Tracy Morgan IS The Danish Girl (who isn’t)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z-D2AMKYmo
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Tom Hardy’s wife -Â Charlotte Riley’s chest
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the calm and coolness that is Mark Ruffalo and his wink
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the return of Ali G Â
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YerpSOSt9kw
and how wife Isla Fisher snuck in the costume
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how they let the ‘Sound Editing’ and ‘Sound Mixing’ categories explain themselves with… sound!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlPX5Zkiw4Q
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Jacob Tremblay has arrived!! (with his parents)
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Academy President Cheryl Boone Isaacs‘ sexy-smart glasses
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Ashley Graham – is BREAST dressed of the night!
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Losers
any chance of Clueless being celebrated at future Academy Awards. Â poor Stacey Dash
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Mad Max‘s costume designer and Oscar winner, Jenny Beavan, can’t dress herself, and no one claps for her
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SofÃa Vergara renaming Son of Saul -Â Son of Saauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul
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white people, Asian people, Hispanic people, Indian people, Native American people. Â they all matter, cause every person matters!
this can all be solved by letting Kumail Nanjiani (and white person Kate McKinnon) host next year!
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Zodiac - it was also about journalism too (better than Spotlight), and it’s the best movie of the 21st century, and it still has zero Oscar wins or even nominations
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Mark Rylance‘s hair AND his dumb hat
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all the people who died and got zero love for dying – Abe Vigoda / Dick Van Patten / Anne Meara / Patrick Macnee / Jason Voorhees’ mom / Stand By Me‘s Milo Pressman / Ron Moody (was nominated for an Oscar for fcuks sake) / the guy who played Leaterface / Louis Jourdan / Taylor Negron / Amanda Peterson / Mary Ellen Trainor / Uggie / Mr DeltoidÂ
(see our ‘In Memoriam’ area for love)Â
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better suck next year