American Animals
Doc Doc Good
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 117 min

Not enough people see documentaries in theaters (for shame and FIVE shame) and I think director Bart Layton figured out how to change that course – you make a narrative film based on a true story, but you ALSO make it more of a true story by including the true people behind the true story IN the story you tell!  KnowwhatImean?

Seeing is believing in Layton’s American Animals, where fact and friction blur, and entertain the fcuk out of you in a tale of bad deeds gone purty darn bad.

Did you ever hear about the 4 college guys who tried to steal rare books from a Kentucky university library?  Yeah, me neither, but forget about hearing it – cause you need to SEE this!

Told through the mouths of the (sometimes contradicting) real life participants – Warren Lipka, Spencer Reinhard, Eric Borsuk and Chas Allen, and portrayed though the vesseles that are Evan Peters (one of our best), Barry Keoghan (guy has such a killer young resume), Jared Abrahamson (he seems so familiar and yet I have no idea who he is) and Blake Jenner (not one of those Jenners), Animals is the antidote to the anti-dope that (I’m sure, without seeing) Ocean’s 8 is.

For the price of admission – this movie is a STEAL!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Animals roar, currently in limited release and soon at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Filmworker
Kubrick’s Right AND Left Hand Man
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
Not Rated | 94 min

Leon Vitali was once an actor on the up and up.  He was the prissy Lord Bullingdon in Kubrick’s Barry Lyndon, and after working with the director, he wanted to work for him, and did, FOR LIFE!  AND BEYOND KUBRICK’S LIFE!!! 

Most people would give their left testicle to have worked with Stanley, and Vitali did (and gave up acting to do so), and he also gave his right testicle and every other appendage to be his right hand man from The Shining til Eyes Wide Shut, and everything in between – including all the unrealized projects, and minutia that came from Kubrick’s direct demanding demeanor  

Sounds like the most amazing job of all time, right?  Amazing, if you don’t like having a life, or a moment to sleep, or yourself.  Such was and IS Vitali’s life – that of a Filmworker, the title of the doc by Tony Zierra that is a BEYOND MUST SEE for anyone that’s a fan of Kubrick and his work (which I would assume is 100% of people who have ever seen a motion picture)

Besides the wonderful reflections and insight from Vitali himself, we get a lot of great additional tidbits from those who worked with both Leon and Stanley (and watched Leon suffer for Stanley and his art), from the UK Warner Bros staff, to Lyndon co-star Ryan O’Neal, the rarely seen or interviewed Danny from The Shining, Full Metal Jacket‘s Matthew Modine, newly dearly departed R. Lee Ermey, and the poor guy who had Ermey’s drill sergeant role before losing it to him - Tim Colceri (HEARTBREAKING!!!).  Not sure what the point of interviewing Phil Rosenthal was or the other people who didn’t seem to have a connection were, but lets just assume Zierra couldn’t get Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Tom Cruise or Nicole Kidman to sit down with him and chat

Kubrick didn’t make it to the 21st century, but his legacy lives on and his presence STILL looms large thanks to Leon Vitali.  No one outside of his family knew him and his work better than perhaps Vitali did.  When one of Stan’s films need to be restored or re-released, Leon’s the guy they call on, cause that’s the guy Kubrick called on.  Vitali = vital, like this doc

Also, had ZERO idea he was the dude in the red cloak with that awesomely scratchy voice in Eyes Wide Shut (along with the 2833128238 other jobs he had on and off set)!!!  EYES WIDE OPEN!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Filmworker works it in limited release – SEE IT!!!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Rider
Cowboy Up, And Down, But Not Out
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 105 min

Native American… cowboys???  They exist!  And one in particular’s real life story has been turned into an incredible pure American feature film starring the rodeo driver (his family and friends) himself (and themselves)!  Chloé Zhao‘s The Rider is to be seen, and to be savored!   In competition, Brady Jandreau had a horse stomp on his head and almost fatally crush his skull!!!  Brady (who looks like a leaner, rougher Josh Hartnett) was lucky to be alive, but he had to give up the only life he’s known and loved – rodeo horse riding, cause one more false move could spell the end of his days.  But this cowboy would not go gently into that badnight.  Sure, his best friend Lane Scott suffered a worse fate (in the movie AND in real life) – immobilized and incapable of speech – but Brady just wants to get back on a horse – or get as close as he can, like training them.  The ‘will he or won’t’ he tension, trioed with family financial hardships, and his touching relationship with his real-life and screen-life sister with Asperger’s syndrome – Lily, is a triple threat of cinematic awesomeness.  Saddle up folks, this one is for home AND the range

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

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Isle of Dogs
Scruffy Looking Nerd Hoarders
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 105 min

Forget human beings Wes, cause your cutesy minutiae works best when you’re playing with actual toys.  Personally, I don’t think you’ve hit a human home run since Tenenbaums, but as Fantastic Mr Fox and now Isle of Dogs shows, you can be SO freaking creative and provide SO much fantastical fun when utilizing stop-motion animation.  I am not usually a fan of stop-motion animation, or even dogs, or even Greta Gerwig, but you nailed it (minus the Greta Gerwig part)

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

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The Rider saddles up in limited release, while Dogs remains in da house at a theater near jews AND white nationalists!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Chappaquiddick
Sunk Political Aspirations
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 101 min

You’ve heard the names Chappaquiddick, Ted Kennedy and Mary Jo Kopechne before, but do you truly KNOW the UNTOLD STORY between those three?  I didn’t either, BUT NOW THE TRUTH CAN BE TOLD!!!  IN MOVIE FORM!

CHAPPAQUIDDICK!!!!!!!!!!!!

And?

Chappaquiddick > Chappaqua

Chappaquiddick > quidditch 

Chappaquiddick > Japaquidbitch (whatever that means)

but fo’realz, this movie has more umph and gusto and infotainment to it in every inch of its being than the snoozefest The Post had in all of its snoozing.  TAKE THAT THE POST!!!  Take your Oscar nominations and shove em up yer a$$!

But I’m a sucker for faux Kennedy accents and novelty teef, and so I was THE target audience to watch Jason Clarke loom large as the Massachusetts Senator done bad and make dumb.  You root for Jason as Ted, and you shake your head at him/them, and then you want to smack him like father Joe does (Bruce Dern, making quite the splash with limited strokes), and then you want hug him, and then you want to shrug him, and then you want to vote for him, and then you want to leave theater cause the movie has ended and there’s nothing left to see, but there was PLENTY to see, including Kate Mara drown, and Ed Helms be effective in a drama (when I didn’t think he could shake his funniness and be serious), and Jim Gaffigan do the same (although he barely has anything to do, and he’s still the biggest waste of CBS Sunday Morning screentime), and Clancy Brown with slicked back McNamara hair!!!

The truth has been told, or whatever truth they claim to be true, and I fell for it, hook, line and sunk-her

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Chappaquiddick doesn’t suck dick at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

A Quiet Place
Shush, Money
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 90 min

Imagine if Jim Halpert took over Schrute Farms, and instead of being so cocky and talky, he had to keep silent (CAUSE LIKE ALIEN BUG THINGS HATE NOISE AND WILL KILL THINGS THAT MAKE NOISE!), and be in a movie you’d expect M. Night Shyamalan to make – and that is what A Quiet Place is!!

Never did I expect a movie directed/co-written/starring John Krasinski to be THIS good.  His directorial debut left much to be desired.  Never saw his follow-up, cause I never thought much of his non-Jim talents.  BOY WAS I WRONG.  I’m sure you were/will be too! 

JIM!!!  FROM THE OFFICE!!!!  AND HIS REAL LIFE WIFE (Emily Blunt) PLAYS HIS WIFE!!  AND THEIR TWO KIDS (who aren’t their real kids) ARE INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  OMG Millicent Simmonds and Noah Jupe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AND THAT FARM!!!  

MAD BEETS CORN!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIpPCaOpDjY

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

A Quiet Place can be found at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…