Chappaquiddick
Sunk Political Aspirations
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 101 min

You’ve heard the names Chappaquiddick, Ted Kennedy and Mary Jo Kopechne before, but do you truly KNOW the UNTOLD STORY between those three?  I didn’t either, BUT NOW THE TRUTH CAN BE TOLD!!!  IN MOVIE FORM!

CHAPPAQUIDDICK!!!!!!!!!!!!

And?

Chappaquiddick > Chappaqua

Chappaquiddick > quidditch 

Chappaquiddick > Japaquidbitch (whatever that means)

but fo’realz, this movie has more umph and gusto and infotainment to it in every inch of its being than the snoozefest The Post had in all of its snoozing.  TAKE THAT THE POST!!!  Take your Oscar nominations and shove em up yer a$$!

But I’m a sucker for faux Kennedy accents and novelty teef, and so I was THE target audience to watch Jason Clarke loom large as the Massachusetts Senator done bad and make dumb.  You root for Jason as Ted, and you shake your head at him/them, and then you want to smack him like father Joe does (Bruce Dern, making quite the splash with limited strokes), and then you want hug him, and then you want to shrug him, and then you want to vote for him, and then you want to leave theater cause the movie has ended and there’s nothing left to see, but there was PLENTY to see, including Kate Mara drown, and Ed Helms be effective in a drama (when I didn’t think he could shake his funniness and be serious), and Jim Gaffigan do the same (although he barely has anything to do, and he’s still the biggest waste of CBS Sunday Morning screentime), and Clancy Brown with slicked back McNamara hair!!!

The truth has been told, or whatever truth they claim to be true, and I fell for it, hook, line and sunk-her

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Chappaquiddick doesn’t suck dick at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Nebraska
June Squibb June Squibb June Squibb June Squibb June Squibb 
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 115 min

Oh June Squibb.  You totally June Squibbed the squibb june out of that June Squibb performance you done did June Squibb!! June Squibb June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  bibb salad June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  Bib Fortuna June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb  June Squibb!!!!!!!!!!

But seriously, this lovely and delightful Nebraska movie - concocted by Alexander Payne/Bob Nelson – is so amateurishly acted – IN A GREAT WAY, and soaked in such luscious black and white palettesz, where the gorgeous great plains cinematography juss makes you wanna take yer pants off and JO to the background, or piss on it, like the main characters done do did.  And oh man, that Bruce Dern guy is so dang cranky, and aloof, and feisty, and fun.  And oh man, that Will Forte, he be so good as the straight-man to all the geriatric antics goings-on.  Man, oh man, this movie’s wrap party musta been insane – everyone wetting their Depends and in bed by 5pm!  Good job Will Forte.  You really made it.  You are so quiet but makes such a commotion.  Blesses you

Speaking of June Squibb, Mr Pibb should marry her and let her have a drink called Ms Squibb

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Nebraska husks corn at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…