Thighs Wide Shut

The Girl Who Kicked
The Hornet’s Nest
(Luftslottet Som Sprängdes)
I Love You, Lisbeth Cooper
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo was Star Wars.  The Girl Who Played With Fire was The Empire Strikes Back.  And guess what?????  The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest is… Return of The Jedi!!!  And what does that mean?  Star Wars was an out of this world kickoff, Empire is the shiz, and Jedi, while not eggzactly close to being up to snuff with 1 & 2, is still a very satisfying final chapter of the trilogy.  OK, comparing anything to the Star Wars trilogy is purty darn dumb, but this is indeed Sweden’s Star Wars, cept more political, and with better dialog, but with less Sand People, but with more Swedish people!!!  Bless you Stieg Larsson, wherever you may roam!!

Director Daniel Alfredson picks up the action right where he left it with Fire.  [SPOILER ALERT!!!!  Do not continue reading if you haven’t seen any of the flicks, read the books, or are juss being super lazy and waiting for the Fincher film versions!!!] Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Rapace) is an absolute physical and emotional mess after trying to kill her ruthless pops, while her half-monster/brother (Micke Spreitz) has escaped to the countryside!!!  So Lissy spends about half the movie on the sidelines, recuperating at a hospital, while the world around her is about to explode.  Her man Thursday, Mikael Blomkvist (Michael Nyqvist) and his Millennium mag crew (with more attention and love given this time around to Lena Endre) are trying to blow open a story about government corruption that’s directly related to L’beth’s life, but of course the powers that be won’t let that happen, so they want to silence them and L’beth, but that aint gonna happen, cause she kicked a hornet’s nest!!!!  Actually she doesn’t kick much in this movie, especially not a hornet’s nest, but she’s gonna be put on trial for attempted murder, and her ex-psychiatrist (Anders Ahlbom) is a total prick and is totally out to get her, and things don’t look so good for her (do they ever???)!!!  Luckily L’beth’s got Blomkvit’s sister as her lawyer (Annika Hallin, finally given something to do), and two women together totally have more power than one!!!!!!  Especially when one rocks a power suit and the other a wicked mohawk!!!

That’s about all we’ll say, as you can probably figure out where it goes from here, but it aint eggzactly the slaying of the Emperor, the tearful death of Darth Vader, and the party to end all parties on Endor, all rolled into one solid ending.  Hactually, the very end ending was kinda like, whatevs dot whatevs.  Don’t know how it is in the book, but it wasn’t necessairly the mos perfect way to close the door, no?  Maybe Stieg had more shiz planned down the road, or maybe he didn’t, but he’s dead, and that sucks.  Wish that wasn’t the case, cause wethinks L’beth hacker pal Plague (Tomas Köhler) is ripe for a spin-off: The Fat Dude Who Ate Swedish Meatballs & Hacked People’s Computers To Deaths!!!

Cue Ballroom: Niklas Hjulström, who plays the prosecuting attorney, is totally on cue, with his own band Cue!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Hornet kicks the trilogy goodbye this Friday in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…