Amy
You Know She’s No Good, Cause She Was DAMN FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 128 min

Asif Kapadia‘s hard to digest/MUSSS digest documentary Amy has everything you’d want to know and everything you don’t want to know about how Ms Winehouse got big, then got too big for her own britches, then had her britches explode.  It was literally like watching a runaway train crash, and you know the exact time and location of when and where that runaway train gonna crash [actually saw it on the anniversary of her death date.  SPOOKY!!].  You shake your head at how incredible she was [was lucky to see her perform once!], and shake your head at how sad it is that she’s no longer with us.  You think she done herself in?  We all did her in.  How can we save ourselves when we can’t even save Amy Winehouse???

and watching the doc was eggzactly like this…

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Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Amy is housed currently at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Law in These Parts
Uncommon Law
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
NR | 101 min

In 1967, Israel won a war in six days.  They called it the Six-Day War.  Part of their ‘victory’ included occupying the Gaza Strip and the West Bank.  Recognizing the need to instill immediate law and order in these occupied lands, Israeli lawmakers set up immediate laws and orders.  If you didn’t know, Israel is still occupying those there lands, and those there laws and orders are still in place.  Guess what, a lot of them laws and orders are pretty unjust, but justice is blind, right?  Director Ra’anan Alexandrowicz doesn’t think so, so he gathered a bunch of those Israeli dudes who created & interpreted them laws and tries to hold them accountable.  Sounds like a good idea, but the gist is gotten after about 30 minutes, and then yer stuck watching the same point being hammered home for another hour, and it grows about as tiresome as the Israeli-Palestinian conflict itself.  WHEN WILL IT END?????

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Laws are enacted in NY only and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold
Sold In
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 90 min

Morgan Spurlock is the king of gimmick documentaries that don’t really say much cept ‘Hey, look at me, I’m just like you, but with a fu-manchu mustache, and laugh at my own jokes more than you do, and I like pointing obvious things out about our world, which yer probably already well aware of, but I don’t have a strong enough slant on these generic opinions, which ultimately make my documentaries hollow and shallow, but I bet you laughed a few times!.‘  Well, that’s how we see him.  How bout you?

Anywho, his first gimmick, Super Size Me, was an easy layup, but a doc anyone of us could have made.  Oh, eating McDonalds for a month is gross AND bad for you?  BIND-MOWING!!!.  His second gimmick,  Where in the World Is Osama Bin Laden?, was less of a gimmick and more of a Middle-Eastern clusterf$%k, even more so than the one that George W Bush created himself.  And now for the good news – his third gimmick (we didn’t see his Simpsons thing and don’t remember which segment he did in the unmemorable Freakonomics) is his BEST gimmick!  POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold is not a great documentary, but it’s a really good Morgan Spurlock documentary, and for what that’s worth, it’s actually worth a lot

PWP: TGMES finds Spurlock looking into product placements placed in motion pictures and how the companies behind the products end up funding and influencing the finished… product.  Instead of digging deep, you know, the whole ‘why’ bit, he dips his toes into the pool and simply shows the ‘who’ and ‘how’, as he tries to find company partners to funnel money and products into the documentary he’s making.  It’s not so-sirprizingly all that probing, and heck, it’s not even really anything at all, but it is certainly entertaining

At first he’s has no luck getting any company on board, since his snarky reputation proceeds itself, and no one’s really jumping at the chance to be associated with his project, but miraculously, he finds some that do.  The full list of partners are: Amy’s Kitchen, The country of Aruba, Ban, Carrera Sunglasses, Hyatt, JetBlue, Mane ‘n Tail, Merrell, Mini, Movietickets.com, Old Navy, POM Wonderful, Seventh Generation Inc, Sheetz, and Thayers.  We applaud all of those companies, not for playing ball with Spurlock, but for being smart enough to having their products placed and beyond whored in the film (Mane ‘n Tale didn’t agree to be, but Spurlock loved the idea of a horse AND human shampoo that he included it for free).  Why?  Anyone who sees Sold will walk away with a better knowledge of the products presented, and may hactually be interested in purchasing them (we’re already Ban® Roll-On users 4life!!).  Products 1, Spurlock 0!!  Are you sold yet?

Ads By Subtraction: his best diversion within the doc is his trip to São Paulo, Brazil, a city which banned advertisements in public spaces.  this would never fly in America, and that’s what’s so wrong AND so right with us/US!!

flickr РṢo Paulo No Logo

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Sold is boughten in limited release today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed, but Morgan aint…

Catfish
The Catfish Hunters & Their Whopper of A Tale
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Nev Schulman is a real person.  He looks like Sacha Baron Cohen and acts like 80 normal dudes we all went to college with.  He’s a photographer who takes pictures of dancers.  He also has a Facebook account (that’s not a ‘duh’ statement.  our brother and parents don’t have one).  He also has an admirer, in an 8-year old girl from bumblefork Michigan named Abby.  She takes his photos and makes purty decent paintings out of them and then sends them to him.  In the process, he has become friendly with Abby’s mom Angela, and even more overly friendly with her half-sister Megan via Facebook.  Nev’s brother and BFF, Ariel and Henry Joost, are real too (Ariel may actually be dating Sting’s daughter Mickey Sumner in real life) and they decide it would be a grand idea to document Nev’s relationship with his web pals.  For awhile, it’s cutesy to watch Nev’s reactions to his deep flirtations with Megan, a girl he knows only thru the web and smattering of late night phone calls.  And yet, something doesn’t seem 100% right with Nev’s other-end user(s)

And then??????????????  No, not Zardoz, we promise! And then, Nev, Ariel and Henry take to the road in search of these people, and what they find is the truth… and it’s a secret!!!!  Spoiling their discovery is verboten, but based on the chilling trailer, this trio disappointingly aren’t chainsawed massacred by a family of freaks.  And yes, we did hactually want that to happen to them, especially since these guys are chasing internet-based vagueness that they could have probably figured out if they juss used the internet a bit more!!!!  Regardless, what hactually does unfold in Michigan is curious enuff stuff to keep interested piqued, but what, WE CANNOT TELL YOU!!!  The question is, how real is this ‘documentary’?  To us, it was less real than I’m Still Here, and others smell something fishy too.  Maybe you’ll just have to force yerself to see both and decide which is faux real (we love that term maybe more than we love fried chicken) and which is faux fauxever

UPDATE: now that I’m Still Here has been dubbed faux foreals, it’s only a matter of time before Catfish is caught in the same act

Beach Boys & Girls: what’s the story with that eerie and yumcredible ‘Good Vibrations’ cover version sung by a children’s choir?  it’s no hoax, it’s The Langley School Music Project!!! watch this!!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Catfish reels(/reals??) it in NY/LA/SF this Friday and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

links to click ONLY after seeing the movie

10 Reasons why the documentary movie Catfish is Fake, and 5 Reasons it is Real

art link

Megan

Karate with Nev (although you can click this one whenever you like)

The Tillman Story
Apparently No One Can Handle The Truth
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Think you know the Pat Tillman story? YOU DON’T KNOW PAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! We didn’t either, and even after wading through director Amir Bar-Lev (My Kid Could Paint That) and writer Mark Monroe‘s (The Cove) searing AND MUSS MUSS MUSS SEE doc (with narration by Josh Brolin) on the man, much the myth and his open to interpretation legend, we still don’t know his whole story.  Tillman’s story is actually bigger than himself, and the story of the story goes all the way up a twisty and misleading path to Bush era 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and it’s head-scratching and head-shaking, and is juss an all around excellent piece about a dead solider and his incredible family who will never rest in peace as they search for answers to questions that no one wants to answer

The sad irony of Pat Tillman’s story and the story of the doc itself is the unwanted attention paid to his life and deeply unfortunate friendly-fired death.   His employers, the Army, naturally took advantage of his stature and notoriety and exploited it for their own gains, and covered-up the not so good bits.  What follows are more poor decisions, redactions, then the family’s strong reactions and determination to right the government’s wrongs.  And yet if Tillman wasn’t someone of a certain celebrity, would this documentary even exist and reach a (hopefully) sizable audience?  Would people care as much if the same exact story was being told about an unknown soldier?  Questions to ponder fo sho, but this baby’s already in the can and you need to let it out like Prince Albert

Friday Night Rights: lets remember the good times too, and watch this highlight reel of Tillman’s high school playing days

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Tillman scores in NY & LA tomorrow and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…