Thighs Wide Shut

Little Steven’s International Underground Garage Festival

Cast of Zillions

Randall’s Island – August 14th

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Rock and Roll is not dead. And if you weren’t aware of that fact, you would have certainly known by the end of this superphantastisch festival. And tit was not cause the bands rocked (well, they did, 461643124 Xs over!), but cause the emcees of the day’s festivities (zoot-suited Kim Fowley and some fat British dude who reminded me of the over the top producer in Marky Mark’s Rock Star) would repeatedly tell you that it was not dead in between each act. Yeah it was a bit annoying, but that was really the only fault I could find in this mini-Coachella, located on an island surrounded by the Boogie Down Bronx, Queens, and Mannyhattan. Before we proceed I juss have to give some major props de leon to Lil Steven/Silvio Dante, who pieced together this unrelievable event. Who knew the E-Street band had more connections that T-Mobile?!?

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Me the cru (Pak-man and Ceffle) arrived around 2:30pm. By that time, we had missed 22 bands (!!), James Gandolfini and Paulie Walnuts‘s guest emcee spots, and the rotating stage that had gone kaput. But the Go-Go dancers were go-going and the rocking did not stop. As for the weather, we were quite lucky. Rain clouds loomed all day long, but didn’t really produce anything until the show was over. Each band, besides the headliners, basically had anywhere from 10-15 minutes of stage time. Sure that may be a bit short, but if you got sick of a band’s performance, you knew that a fresh sound was juss right around the corner. Perfect for those with short attention spans… like anyone born from 1976 on. And who needs to hear any other song by The Romantics besides “What I Like About You”? Now I’ll be honest, I’m a crazy music lover, but I didn’t know 78.4632% of the bands on the roster. I guess I should have studied harder during my History of Rock and Roll class at good ole IU.

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The first song I recognized of the day was The Creation’s “Making Time”, and that’s only cause it was included on the Rushmore soundtrack. Otherwise, The Mooney Suzuki were so moooney. The Pete Best Band were not the breast, but it’s the closest I’ve been to a “Beatle”, and their rendition of “Twist and Shout” gave me Ferris Buller goosebumps. Nancy Sinatra made dad proud and had everyone’s boots ready for walking and rocking. Bo Jackson may not have known diddley, but Bo Diddley’s certainly well acquainted with himself and knows how to make a guitar scream. Seeing him was a real treat and probably one of the breast performances of the day. The Raveonettes raved on, but their set was cut to only two songs… udder bull sheet!!! Glad I caught them at the Bowery awhile back, and you all should catch them the next time they hit your town. The reformation of The New York Dolls made the night sincerely magical, especially after losing bassist Arthur Kane just a month ago. David Johansen and co’s comeback electrified the stage… some say “Hot, Hot, Hot”. The Strokes have never sounded bad anytime I’ve seen them, and tonight was no different. I am so over them, but I was impressed they didn’t include “Last Nite” in their set. And finally, Igby may go down, but Iggy and the Stooges, they just crank the energy up, up, and up. Sure I was a lil bummed there was no “Lust For Life” or “Passenger” love, but I’ll be his f-in dog for sho!! This was a one-of-a-kind event that shouldn’tve been missed. We’d all be lucky if Lil Stevie decides to do one next year. My hopes and dreams for 2005: The Kinks, White Stripes, Social Distortion, The Hives, The Ventures, Dick Dale, BB King, Bowie, and somehow, The Velvet Underground.

Oh, and how could I forget the food and drinks!!! Many options on the eats front, Pak-man dug the curly fries, and we all inhaled funnel cakes, but no love for chocolate-covered-frozen-bananas? What’s up wit dat? And if yer ever headed to any mega-concert, please pray that Dunkin Donuts and Pepsi-Co are the sponsors. I mean, why pay for libations when you can have free samples of Pepsi (hmmm, I’ve need tried Pepsi before!) and DD’s iced lattes, to which me and the cru gladly downed 4 throughout the day. The combo of being crazy caffeinated and my body being tired as sheet, due to hours of standing, was the ultimate battle of wills. Caffeine won out and then when I got home, passing out ruled large.

Hope you were taking notes on how to run a concert Andrew Dreskin, you King of Failed Day (I’m no longer staying tuned for your next move).

[Note: All pictures taken with camera phones, as the threat of rain made me left my digi at home. Thanks to Pak-Man for most of em]