Baby Driver
iPod Racing
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 113 min

Lets face it - Edgar Wright isn’t THAT great of a director, but man, does that guy certainly try to direct the fcuk out of his movies, and man, does he sure like to have fun, and hopes that you will too.  I’ve sorta had fun seeing all of his films (he’s definitely good at ideas and decent at humor), but I have only truly loved one of them – Hot Fuzz. I didn’t LOVE love his latest – Baby Driver – but it was certainly fun (and more fun but not nearly as good as the seriously driven Drive was), and it was certainly better than all of his other (non-Fuzzy) films that juss weren’t quite there

Had Baby Driver been directed by someone else, say Guy Ritchie or Matthew Vaughn, or even the the Wachowskis, this could have been something momentous.  Ritchie or Vaughn could have made it more polished, and taken the tongue with the cheek, instead of juss being mostly a wagging tongue.  The Wachowskis failed with Speed Racer, but I think they would have soared with the keys to Baby Driver.  Directed by Edgar, the film felt not quite Wright (the car driving scenes in particular didn’t seem overly fast nor furious enuff), but as a whole, it was better than OK, and that’s… OK, cause I really liked the main character – A LOT!  Juss wish the presentation was more presentable, + all the side attractions needed more traction to them

Speaking of the man and the man who played him - Baby Driver IS Ansel Elgort‘s young Han Solo movie.  A finalist for the role he didn’t get, Elgort does super fine as a slick and cool maverick pilot (of a car) flying/driving into the heart of danger, and coming out of it each and every time barely alive, but even slicker and cooler than he was before!  He even wears a jacket that’s very Han-y Solo-ish

Dude – Baby Driver IS Ansel Elgort As Young Han Solo The Movie!!!

But what about everything else?

The movie is all about the soundtrack, and while there are some choice cuts (‘Harlem Shuffle’, Blur’s ‘Intermission’, the Beach Boys’ ‘Let’s Go Away For Awhile’), a lot of the other choices were either too obvious, kinda forgettable, or didn’t match the speed of the car/action.  If I ever made a movie, and had a car chase in it, I would certainly use Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Run’.  But I’m probably not going to make a movie, so I’ll juss be critical of people who do make em!

loved the Michael Meyers mask joke, juss wish it wasn’t ruined for me in the trailer

Lily James is a peach as baby’s babe, but maybe a bit too syrupy sweet

Kevin Spacey somehow doesn’t chew enough of the scenery as you think he would

Jon Hamm is likable, and then becomes detestable – and who wants to endure an unlikable Jon Hamm?

Jamie Foxx – I dunno what he was, but I could barely understand any of his lines of dialog, so he didn’t really register with me

Speaking of a foxx…

HUBBA BUBBA YUBBA HUMMANANA HUMMMMMANA AY DIOS MIO 

Eiza González!!!!!

Verdictgo: juss enuff to make it a Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Baby goes into overDriver currently at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Scott Pilgrim vs The World
8-Bit More Than It Can Chew
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Remember this lil maddening Nintendo send-up/mash-up/cracks-we-up?  What a wonderful, colorful and inventive way to spend 8.5 minutes!!!!!  Same could be said of the similar pixelated terrain of Edgar Wright‘s screen version of the Scott Pilgrim graphic novels.  But what of the remaining 1 hour and 45 minutes? Tedious, repetitive, uninteresting.   Waiting for our titular hero (Michael Cera) to fight and (of course) beat level boss/evil ex-boyfriend after level boss/evil ex-boyfriend (Chris Evans, Brandon Routh, Jason Schwartzman, etc + one ex-girlfriend, Mae Whitman) had us screaming internally for ‘game over’ to flash on the screen as soon as Atarily possible.  No matter how many 1-ups Pilgrim gets on his quest, the film never 1-ups itself into new territory, even if that singular territory is inspired, fun and a place we’d like to play in… for 8.5 minutes!!!!!

Urgggggh!!!!!!!!!!!!  Maybe there needed to be more real-worldedness ala The Wizard!  Maybe there should have been more things for the supporting cast (Kieran Culkin, Mark Webber, Alison Pill, Anna Kendrick, et al) to do besides make ironic smirks and be all malaise-y (esp Aubrey Plaza, who’s a pro at malaise-y.  so much so that she may end up with a career more one-noted than Cera’s).  Maybe Scottie P spent too much time slayin’ dragons, chasin’ waterfalls and tiltin’ at windmills, and not nearly enuff time building up the actual relationship he so desires with his beloved Ramona Flowers (our once and future wife Mary Elizabeth Winstead, with anime eyes that won’t and we hope, will never quit!!!).  There’s more time devoted to destroying his relationship with Knives Chau (Ellen Wong) AND forgetting his one with Envy Adams (Brie Larson) than anything resembling quality time with Flowers (smiles and heart kisses don’t suffice!).  Their love grows with artificial sweetness, but sometimes substitutes aren’t better than the real thing!!!  Pilgrim, leave Plymouth and do not collect 200 bonus points!!!!

Out With The Old & Always In With The MEW: Mary Elizabeth Winstead may be new to you, but she’s MEW to us, and with this pic from the flick, MEOOOOOOW for one and all!!!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Pilgrim is currently may deflowering at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…