Thighs Wide Shut

Get On Up
Soul Brother # Won
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 138 min

I know who James Brown is. Lucky to have seen him in concert, TWICE! Perhaps today’s kids aren’t all up on their Godfather of Soul knowledge – and hence the need for dem to GET ON UP on it, as suggested by the talking head testimonial trailer singing his singing praises, that’s been used more as this biopic’s trailer than its own actual trailer. Well, regardless if you know JB or don’t, your probably won’t learn much about him in Tate Taylor‘s (The Help) lively, but information-free Get On Up

Funk don’t quit, even if the funk is uninformative

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Jersey Boys
Oh What A Blight!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 134 min

There’s nothing more cheesy than the Jersey Boys musical. That is until I encountered the movie version of the musical, directed by the ‘musical’ Clint Eastwood, which reveals JUSS how cheesy the musical is, when you add in close-ups and sets and things and stuff

Oh Gyp DeCarlo. Oh Gyp. Oh Gyp. OH GYP!!!! Who Gyp? He’s some gangster guy played by Christopher Walken, who solves everyone’s problems, like the ‘problems’ the Four Seasons encounter. These problems? That the band’s founder Tommy DeVito is bad with money, and that the guy who plays him – Vincent Piazza – may be bad at acting. Or maybe Tommy DeVito IS an actual walking Italian-Jersey stereotype and Vincent Piazza is playing him perfectly. But who cares, cause the whole thing’s cheesy, so Jimmy, give me a pizza wit NUTTIN

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Verdictgo: both Jeepers Worth A Creepers

The Boys – Get On Up at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Frankie Valli & ‘The Four Seasons’
NYCB Theatre at Westbury
April 25th

If you’ve seen the musical Jersey Boys, you know the story of Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons.  If you haven’t, you can join the rest of us this summer in theaters when Clint Eastwood gives it cinematic life.  If you can’t bother with either, try Delaware Fellas.  But if you don’t want any of that, I’ll tell you how it goes – four boys from Jersey meet under a streetlamp and then they’re like, hey, talk like a duck, and then one of them is like, NO – WALK LIKE A MAN!!!  Then another one is like, oh Carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry.  And the rest be like, no, Sherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry!!  And then one is like small girls do cry, and then the others be like, no, BIG GIRLS, THEY DON’T CRY-YYYYYYYYYY.  That’s how all their songs came to be

Frankie Valli still lights the torch that is he and the Four Seasons.  The original seasoners have retired, so Valli hits the road these days with 4 young looking dudes doing all the background singing.  It’s fine, cause they are the background harmonizing to the awesomeness going on in the foreground – Frankie’s unique voice, which apparently can still hit them high notes, and melt ears.  Frankie and the fellas ran thru ALL the hits, and there are a TON.  He opened with his ‘Grease’ theme, and WORD, it was SLICK!!!  He also rocked him some 60s covers, like ‘Spanish Harlem’ and ‘Call Me’ (not the Blondie one).  And it was ALL RAWKIN, in a soft rawkin kinda way.  If you ever have the choice between seeing Jersey Boys or seeing the real thing, see the real thing

But the real star of the show?  The theater itself.  Never had been to NYCB Theatre at Westbury before, and this trip certainly won’t be my last.  It’s not an easy venue to get to from the city without a car, but it was WELL worth the journey.  The stage is in the round, which means every seat is a good one, as the performers on stage slowly rotate on a spinning floor!!!!  I had only seen one other show in the (sorta) round before, and it was Prince and it was glorious (although the shape was a cross, not a circle).  That was at a huge arena, but this Valli show was intimate.  The venue only seats 3,000, and let me tell you, there’s nothing like spending an intimate evening with 2,998 really old Long Islanders, listening to really old music, that still sounds really fcuking great