Thighs Wide Shut

Harry Styles
Madison Square Garden
June 21

Never had any coordinates set for One Direction, but my heart’s compass always pointed toward Harry Styles.  Not sure why.  I’m not a modern day boy band kinda boy, and yet I gravitate towards Harry and his… hair.  And then I saw him in Dunkirk, and was like, oh, this heartthrob is no dumbykirk – and oh, man, that hair!  And then I saw he was coming to Madison Square Garden and you can sit behind the stage for the price of 3 movie admissions and was like, well, why the hell not?  It would be like seeing the Beatles (sorta not really)!  It could be like an anthropology observation with today’s youth!!  

And so I binged his solo album over the last couple of weeks, and was ready to rock, but would Harry be ready to roll?  OH HECK YEAH HE WAS!!!  And I had never heard MSG louder in all my MSG going life!  Sure, I was probably the only straight man there over 40 AND without a daughter in the audience, but the girls’ ear-shattering shrieks at his every shimmy and shake were certainly warranted (and I may have even shrieked a bit meself)

Harry, may you nevers go out of Styles!

Setlist – Only Angel / Woman / Ever Since New York / Two Ghosts / Carolina / Stockholm Syndrome / Just a Little Bit of Your Heart (Ariana Grande cover) / Medicine / Meet Me in the Hallway / Sweet Creature / If I Could Fly / Anna / What Makes You Beautiful / Sign of the Times

Encore – From the Dining Table / The Chain (Fleetwood Mac cover) / Kiwi

https://www.instagram.com/p/BkVCHRYhcv0/

Dunkirk
Three Directions, Singular Styles
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 106 min

I am all for Christopher Nolan, and yet sometimes I am not.  Sometimes he hits it right, like his prestigious and tricky Prestige (still my personal fav of his). Other times he gets a lil too deceptive and heady, like with Inception.  Sometimes there’s good Battiness, and sometimes bad.  The guy always tries to make stellar work, as seen mos recently with Interstellar, and yet, for some reason, I don’t always look forward to what’s coming up next from him

I love movies.  I love film.  I love 35mm film being projected.  I want 35mm film to survive, and yet when I hear about Nolan pushing to keep it alive, I am somehow turned off by it and him.  Maybe it’s cause he seems so cocky and self-important.  Or thinks he’s the second coming of Stanley Kubrick.  Or maybe it’s cause he has such great hair.  Damn, I wish I had such hair!

Well, after watching his latest, very unpretentious, and mos excellent Dunkirk, I’m ready to let bygones be gone!

YOU DID IT CHRISTOPHER!!!!  You left all the overthinking and overdoing in the present and made very good by going back into the past!!!

Cause in the past, you can’t have buildings fold, or people walking on the ceiling, or Tom Hardy talking like he has 12838383 muzzles on his mouth.  Oh wait, you can!!

Anywho – what a fcuking show!!!  You learn NOTHING about this WWII battle, where English soldiers are practicality marooned on a French beach, while Germans have their way with them, but that’s OK.  I’m sure the actual soldiers on the beach (look how Captainy Kenneth Branagh looks!), and in the sky (oh, that Jack Lowden is a looker!) and in the sea (Mark Rylance, better at acting AND sailing than wearing hats) also had no clue as to what was going on either!!  And how can you better sympathize with your on-screen heroes when you know about as much as they do!  WE KNOW NOTHING!!!!  CEPT HOW RAD THIS MOVIE WAS!!!  AND WHAT INCREDIBLE SOUNDS WE DONE HEARD!!!  (if the movie only wins ONE Oscar, let it be for the sound one that awards achievement in HEXplosions and plane noises)

Juss so darn lucky to not have to fight in a war like these people did

Juss wish we were as lucky as Harry Styles is!  He’s so handsome!!!!  So fcuking fine looking that the ocean starts to ejaculate all over the beach anytime he’s near.  LOOK AT ALL THAT SEA FOAM!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Dunkirk is far from DUMBkirk at a theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…