Thighs Wide Shut

Loving
If Loving You Is Wrong
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 123 min

Anyone can (basically) get married to anyone in this day & age!  Hooray humanity!

As you know, that was not always the case – not even that long ago, and for white folks marrying black folks, that was definitely not the case in some states of THESE United States of America only 49 years ago!  FORTY-NINE YEARS!?!?!?!??!!

Woah!  WTF USA???

But one Virginia couple’s interracial nuptials set the wrong finally right, when the state said FCUK NO to them, but the Supreme Court said, Virginia – FCUK YOU, and to the couple – FCUK YEAH!!! (and fcuk on, as you please)

The case - Loving v. Virginia – changed everything, but the Jeff Nichols‘ movie about the case and the Loving couple (what a perfect name, eh??) – Mildred (Ruth Negga) and Richard (Joel Edgerton), didn’t really change my world.  Yes, their story is worth telling, but I didn’t really LOVE it.  It was actually kind of boring.  And to be honest, I know the characters get married cause they love each other and they tell us that they love each other, but there didn’t seem to be much love going round in the movie.  Hanson once sang ‘Where’s The Love?  It’s Not Enough!’.  Dude, seriously, where’s the love?  And dude, where’s my czar?

The performances are fine and all - Edgerton keeps his bleached-blonde head down the entire time, and Negga‘s bright eyes are always smiling, not matter what heap of sh!t is heaped upon them, but neither are worth writing home about.  When I wrote my mom a letter after seeing movie, I didn’t even mention their performances!!  

And look, I like seeing comedians in dramatic roles, but Nick Kroll, as a novice lawyer helping the couple, was more distracting than helpful.  He seemed to mold his character and acting style based on the ‘I think he stole his wallet‘ guy from Back To The Future II  – Lester!  And if you’ve seen BTTF2, you know that’s not a compliment

Verdictgo: high end Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badgers

Loving has a thin heartbeat a theater near jews & white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Take Shelter
Cloudy With A Chance of Boring
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 120 min

If Michael Shannon is in yer movie, he’s probably playing some crazed person, with a good heart that’s probably misguided. If Jessica Chastain is in yer movie, it means it’s a movie from 2011, cause she is like in one out of every five of them. IT’S TRUE!!! So what happens when the two are in a movie together?  They play parents to a deaf girl (Tova Stewart), and have troubles juss like any other working class Ohioans do… CEPT THEY HAVE MORE PROBLEMS, LIKE A DEAF CHILD, AND MOREEE!!!! Cause Michael Shannon is a crazed person, with a good heart that’s probably misguided… OR IS IT????  DUNNO!!!??!?!

In Jeff Nichols‘ well-crafted, but udderly dull Take Shelter, Shannon is seeing cloudy and birdy signs of the apocalypse, in dreams and in reality(????), and so he must do what he feels is right – expand his existing storm shelter into a mega one!!! So the movie is basically Michael Shannon looking up at the sky, having bad dreams, and working on this shelter, rinse, repeat, snores, we get it, we don’t, OK, so it had a nice lil ending, but did it have to take 2 hours to get there?  It didn’t.  Don’t gimme Shelter!

He & He: Shelter marks the 5 screen pairing of Michael Shannon and Shea Whigham.  wonder if casting agents get a package discount

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Shelter doesn’t hold it together currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…