Thighs Wide Shut

Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Here We Go Again
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 135 min

Now is not the time for a full review and dissection of the 7th Star Wars movie ever put into existence.  Today is for initial thoughts only, and so here we go – my initial thoughts of Episode VII – The Force Awakens

• this movie won’t change your life.  it won’t surpass your love of IV thru VI, BUT it succeeds where Indiana Jones IV failed
• it’s better than anything the prequels were. it’s less cluttered, CGI-y, pretty, cute, kidsy, dumb. it’s grimy and dark and evil, as it should be
• George Lucas could have never made a satisfying Episode VII.  I truly believe it would have looked like this.  poor Lucas – he tarnished his own legacy, but without him, we’d have nothing to complain about, or love.  but kudos for him for letting go and letting someone else give it a go
• only JJ Abrams could have made a new Star Wars movie work, and let us all move forward in the Star Wars world in this day and age.  he could probably make Citizen Kane 2 something passable.  looking forward to seeing what others can do with Star Wars.  we shall see, but probably we’ll see way too much Star Wars in the decades to come
• the movie is funny, in a good way.  has a lot more fun with itself than previous installments, while remaining very serious
• the new characters are awesome (even though I guessed them all wrong).  I LOVE Rey.  like, SUPER LOVE REY!!! Dog bless Daisy Ridley. I LOVE Finn.  He’s great.  Didn’t get too much of a handle on Poe Dameron, but he will probably be super cool in due time, but hey, aren’t these three newbies juss assuming the same roles that others had in IV – VI????
• Adam Driver was really really really good, and angry.  anger is what Star Wars needs. there was anger in the prequels, but it was dumb anger
• it was AMAZING to see our old favs – Han, Chewie, Leia and a guy who looked like Admiral Ackbar.  it’s kinda sad to see how old our heroes have become – on screen and in life, but I’ll take this over not seeing them at all
• this guy/girl/whatever wasn’t as awful as I thought he/she/it would have been
• I know he’s JJ’s pal and all, but Greg Grunberg doesn’t deserve to be in this movie (unless he happens to be the kin of Jek Porkins)
• the only thing I HATED was that Lord Voldemort is in it
• the movie is grand, but not really full.  the characters are rich, but the story isn’t.  and the plot is kinda, sorta, almos all too familiar.  and the final battle at the end didn’t give off the same kinda UMPPPPPPPPHHH that the old ones did. will something big will blow up at the end?  biggest non-shocker of the year
• not sure how the movie could be anything different or better than what it is.  it had to embrace the past and set up a new future.  it did that, very well, and for that, we all should be grateful, and grateful that the movie didn’t suck

More thoughts to come, after my 2nd, 3rd and 129129129th viewing

Verdictgo: a HUGE Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Force is to be reckoned with, at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Super 8
Amblin’ Enuff Entertainment
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 112 min

Steven Spielberg doesn’t make Steven Spielberg movies anymore (yes, Munich is the knees bees, but do flicks like that scream Spielberg’s name? no), so why not let someone else make them?  Fine by we, and apparently fine by Spielberg, who produced JJ Abrams‘ Super 8, which is soaking in so much Spielbergian Spielbergedness that someone has rightful dubbed it ‘Spielberg porn‘.  Still fine by us.  We all loved Spielberg’s 70s & 80s output (if you didn’t, you must have skipped childhood), and no big flicks these days has come even close to (re)capturing that magic and wonder (maybe Pixar stuff, but that’s computer cartoon stuff, and thus doesn’t count).  Abrams must feel the same void we do, and he certainly aims hard to fill it.  Good for him

For 2/3rds of his first real film, Abrams hits the E.T. marks to perfection.  By the time we get to that last third, he’s still following in Spielberg’s footsteps, but instead of karaoke-ing on the good stuff, he gets Super 8 bogged down in the lesser and louder Spielberg stuff, like his War of the Worlds. That’s not a good thing (we can never forgive Spiels for everything that happened after Tim Robbins showed up), but still, it’s OK.  We’d rather have movies that hearken back to older movies that work, and not just be extensions of franchises and name brands (we know yer siked for that Battleship movie… SIKE!).  We must support this kinda stuff, hispecially since Abrams comes awfully close to nailing it

Recently, we were watching The Goonies (another Spielberg related 80s gem thingie) and felt sorry for today’s kids who don’t have their own Goonies. Movies where kids are the focus and there’s fun AND serious stuff going on (read: NOT Hotel for Dogs) are too far and few between.  Again, Abrams is gunning for that same territory, and is A THIRD CLOSE to having an encountery-kind there.  They did cast a great bunch of youngins, who all fit into some sorta Spielbergesque kid role/look – Mikey Walsh (Joel Courtney… hope this kid’s around 9ever), Chunk (Riley Griffiths), Henry ‘Elliot’ Thomas (Zach Mills), Elliot’s brother (Gabriel Basso) and Mouth (Ryan Lee), but in 10 years time, no one will be remembering these characters’ names or any lines of their dialog.  It’s kinda like Joe Dante’s Explorers, which sorta looks and feels Spielbergay right, but juss aint eggzactly the genuine article.  Wait, what the hell was Explorers about?

So what is it that doesn’t work?  For one thing, Elle Fanning should have played every role.  Yep, she’s that hammazin.  She’s even more hammazin than her sister is/was.  If you haven’t seen her in the nowhere going Somewhere, yer going nowhere, MISTER mr!!!  Our lil Joel Courtney (see, who cares what his character’s name is) falls for her, and you will too. You will!!  So much so that yer gonna start rooting hard for them tweens to hook up.  Kids making out is a pretty sick thing to root for, but thats how compelling and believable their budding relationship is!  That shiz is Super-gr88888!!!

So what is it then that keeps this Spielbergy thing from being totes Spielbergeded????  If we told you, we’d have to kill you, or spoil-ish the movie, sorta.  We will tell you this – Abrams is grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr8 at keeping the lid on mystery (and keeping the pace fast!!!), but once the lid is lifted, what’s behind the curtain was probably better left being a mystery.  Remember how Lost began and ended?  Bang and whimper?  Still, we’re not going to complain here.  This is only Abrams’ first stab at Spielbergvilletown.  Looking forward to seeing his Indiana Jones rip-off.  Just don’t let George Lucas anywhere near it

ps, Kyle Chandler is so good at being a screen dad.  we so wish he could be our screen dad!!

ps 2, we agree with Leitch, Abrams’ buddy Matt Reeves’ Let Me In is THE Super 80s throwback over Super 8

West Virginia Is The New Ohio:  what happens when yer town is rundown and hasn’t changed in 30 years?  YOU GET TO STAR IN A SPIELBERG JJ ABRAMS MOVIE!!!!!

welcome to Weirton, West Virginia, home to ‘Lillian, Ohio’!  watch this! read this! & look at this!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

8 is duper-enuff tomorrow at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…