The Flowqueens of ‘14.5

1) Jodorowsky’s Dune

The greatest doc ever made about the greatest film never made, EVER!!  So many ‘what if?‘s AND ‘what the f#$k??!!!‘s to shake your head at

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2) Whiplash

Dude, WHIPLASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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2.5) The Trip to Italy

Lightening strikes twice as Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon take their thick shtick to Italy.  Hilarity ensues at every blip on the map.  AMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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3) The Babadook

Are the things going bump in the night all in their heads?  Too late, they are now in our heads too!  BABA-DOOK DOOOK DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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4) Mr Turner

Literally watching paint dry – and it’s amazing!!!

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5) Foxcatcher

Carell’s nose, Ruffalo’s beard and hairline + Tatum’s sad face = Pinned-trest-ed!!!

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6) Nightcrawler

Jake Gynenhehahehallllll is watching you.   Watch him back

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7) The LEGO® Movie

Toys with our emotions in the best way possible.  It also happens to be funniest Will Ferrell flick in half a decade

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8) Inherent Vice

Katherine Waterston continues her ‘brave’ (read – ‘nude’) work in cinema

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9) Dawn of The Planet of The Apes

Going ape-sh!t, again

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10) Citizenfour

The year’s best thriller is not only based on a true story – it is THE truest true story!

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11) The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Unibrowser Yowzers!!

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12) Boyhood

Seamless production and process like none other make up for a somewhat lacking narrative.  Bring on Manhood!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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13) The Double

Every movie needs Jesse Eisenberg.  So why not have two Jesse Eisenbergs???

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14) Step Up All In

If you’re not in, you are OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

The Fault In Our Stars / Get On Up / Interstellar / Jersey Boys / Lucy / Palo Alto / X-Men: Days of Future Past

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our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the week of the Oscars 

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

Jodorowsky’s Dune
MÅ“bius Strip Tease
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 90 min

The greatest movie never made is probably/maybe Jodorowsky’s Dune. Who is Jodorwsky? I’ve never seen a single one of Jodo’s movies, but from the looks and sounds of em – namely El Topo and Holy Mountain – they look and sound beyond batshit crazy, and I need to see them YESTERDAY!! Well apparently Mr Jodorwsky was riding such a creative and critical wave after completing them movies in 70s and that he had carte blanche in choosing his next project, and so he chose the dense & sandy Frank Herbert Dune book(s). Jodorowsky never read the book(s), but that mattered little to this visionary, ready to unleash his vision that would send his audience on a vision quest. All he needed was some ‘warriors’ ready to make a movie of supreme consciousness, which would make its viewers feel like they were on drugs without even taking them (paraphrasing his words). He had the whole thing ready to go – frame by frame storyboards + a creative army to end all creative armies – Salvador Dalí, Orson Welles, Mick Jagger, artists HR Giger, Chris Foss and MÅ“bius, effects man Dan O’Bannon + music by Pink Floyd. Yep, THIS WAS GONNA BE THE MOST BANANANANANANAAS PROJECT EVER!!!

As you might have guessed, his Dune was never made (David Lynch later got the dis-honor), for numerous reasons (being 10+ hours probably wouldn’t work in Hollywood), but Frank Pavich‘s fun and frustrated doc relishes the mind in that big ‘what if’ (it got made), and if it did, WHAT THE FCUK!!! Sure, Dali and Orson and others are dead, but Jodo aint, so why not make it now?!??!?!? Jodorowsky’s Dune doesn’t have to stay forever doomed. Even Terry Gilliam hasn’t given up on his Don Quixote

Verdictgo: this is essential viewing – Breast In Show

Jodorwsky’s Dune LIVES on BD/DVD/streaming!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…