Scaring Is Caring
24. Jul, 2013 
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The Conjuring
A Warren Commission
Official Website | Trailers & MoÂ
R | 112 min
There was a real family who lived at a real Rhode Island farmhouse and creepy sh#t happened, and it scared the crap out of them, and a real life husband-wife team of paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren, came to their house and tried to set sh%t straight.  Regardless of what is actual fact or Hollywood fiction doesn’t matter, cause the film version of this tale - The Conjuring – delivers the best 70s’ horror film since… the 70s!  Sure, it’s no Exorcist, nor even The Omen, but it’s on par or even better than The Amityville Horror, and the 2009 throwback A Haunting In Connecticut, two flix both based off of other cases in the Warrens‘ files.  OK, so The Conjuring’s scares are old school cheap (voices in the dark, doors slamming, Lili Taylor‘s face), but are very old school effective. Purty crazy that this film was directed by the same guy that gave the world the Saw franchise life, James Wan.  Torture porn is so lame.  Real-ish life bumps in the night are so rad.  And so are Patrick Wilson & Vera Farmiga, who as Ed & Lorraine Warren are so f#&king best that we welcome more of their adventures, and welcome them to shower with me!!
Verdictgo: mos def Jeepers Worth A Peepers/Creepers
Conjuring boos you at a theater near jews
oh, and random of randomness – Joey King, who plays one of the haunted family members, was in some Mathew Modine-Kristen Chenoweth movie where she dressed up like Jodie Foster’s Taxi Driver kid prostitute, a Reservoir Dog, and a droog.  WTF??
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
