Thighs Wide Shut

Keanu
Key and A-Peele-ing
Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 100 min

You like Key (Keegan-Michael Key) and Peele (Jordan Peele)?  Kittens?  Comedy?  Keanu Reeves?  Movies slightly over 90 minutes?  If you answer ‘yes’ to all of these questions, you are a human being living on planet earth.  If you answer ‘no’ to any of these questions then YOU BETTER CHECK YO SELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YO SELF!!!

Hello Keanu, the movie where Key and Peele get themselves into a world of trouble trying to save a kitten, by acting a fool, for the benefit of me and you.  It’s like a longform Key & Peele episode, that kinda feels like it forms juss a little too long, but you’ll laugh here and there, AND YOU WILL LAUGH, and enjoy yourself throughout!

And there’s a kitten!  And Will Forte and Method Man, and Tiffany Haddish, who is one to watch, so WATCH OUT!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Keanu reeves it at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Pitch Perfect 2
Not Awful!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 115 min

I don’t think I sat all the way thru Pitch Perfect 1 (I was probably laying/lying, not sitting). The wife said, lets watch it on TV, and she watched it, while I played on my phone and mocked it while 1/2 paying attention. It was a movie you can get the gist of in about 8 seconds – it’s Glee, with girls as the focus, and maybe more laffs, but not really

Well, a funny thing happened on the way to being forced to see #2… after 5 minutes of eye-rolling, my eyes stood in place, and my ears followed, and I sat thru the sequel – ALL OF IT. And you know what, it was not awful! Sure, this thing was far from sexy or original or awesome or deep or anything, but it has more going for it AND was more enjoyable than Sucker Punch is/was, and Sucker Punch had scantily clad women fighting ninjas or something!  

Pitch Perfect 2‘s plot is razor thin, but it makes up for it in the girth that is Fat Amy/Rebel Wilson, who doesn’t steal the show, cause she IS the show.  Without Fat Rebel Wilson, the movie would be nothing but mousy Anna Kendrick looking for cheese and Brittany Snow rolling her eyes more than I did when I was forced to watch #1, and Elizabeth Banks (who directed this movie!!!) and John Michael Higgins with their not so witty repartee reprising its repetitive rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’s.  But don’t worry, you get all of Fat Wilson, and the fat butt and fart and poop jokes that come with it!!  + Keegan-Michael Key! and David Cross!  and Snoop Dogg!!  and some Green Bay Packers!!!!!

The Pitch Perfercts are light and fluffy and pitch perfect for viewers young and old, but if it REALLY wanted to razzle dazzle (at least if it wanted to dazzle my razzles), they should go light on the tunes and heavier on the theatrics.  Time to Step-Up evermore yo!

Verdictgo: sirprizingly Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Pitch fast at a theater near jews tomorrow

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…