Tag Archives: Kiefer Sutherland

Pakistan & Deliver

The Reluctant Fundamentalist
Climate Changez
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 130 min

reluctant fundementalist

The Reluctant Fundamentalist is a Pakistani named Changez (Riz Ahmed), a man who once went to America chasing the Yankee dollar, and is now a professor in his country of origin, possibly teaching questionable curriculum… depending on who’s doing the questioning (and no, we are not reffering to teaching how to do some sports betting or playing poker).  The man questioning him in the present is American journalist Liev Schreiber, who’s looking for a kidnapped American professor from the same university where Changez teaches.  Changez may not have the answer, but he begins to tell his story, and spank Allah he does, cause the past he presents ends up being much more intriguing than anything happening in the present.  Changez regales Schreiber and his Elmer’s Glue cow face with a tale about his once promising life in America, where he was taken under the wing of Wall Streeter Kiefer Sutherland (IN GLASSES!!!) and quickly moved up the finical ladder, and quickly down Kate Hudson’s pants (she’s actually pretty decent in the movie! not decent as in keeping her pants on, but decent as in she’s not being awful in some awful rom-com that’s awful).  Things go swimmingly, and then 9/11 happens, and then the world is with America, and then America turns hateful, and turn on people like Changez, who personally had zero to do with any of it besides the color of his skin and his religion and his nationality.  Enough becomes enough, and Changez demands change, for himself and his home country, so he heads home, where stuff happens, and then we’re caught up to the point where Schreiber and his Elmer’s Glue cow face come walking in to question this and that and why Changez has a beard and is angry at America

‘s take on Mohsin Hamid’s novel is certainly heavy handed, but should a movie about post-9/11 Muslim identity in Western and Eastern societies be dealt with with a light hand?  No, it shouldn’t.  Sure, Nair is a bit out of her depth in a 1/3 of her movie – where guns and hard talk raise tensions in the present, but the other 2/3rds told in flashback are right on point and carry the message across.  Her film practically sinks or swims on Riz Ahmed’s piercingly serious eyes, and she was wise to make him the navigator, as he floats above the given script and keeps us tuned into that bigger picture (he similarly sizzled and dazzled in Michael Winterbottom’s Trishna, and one would assume for him to do the same in many more films to come).  So what’s the bigger picture?  There are more sides to the post-9/11 world than just the one that America wants the world to take.  This is the fundamental point.  It’s more mental than fun

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

The Fundamentalist luctantly opens in limited release today, and on-demand April 30th

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Orbit Obit

Melancholia
Let Nature Take Its Collision Course
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 136 min

What’s that in the sky?  Is it a bird? A plane?  No, it’s a mysterious blue planet colliding with ours!!!  WHAT!!!?!??!?!?!  Perish the pershing thought!  But would you expect anything less than a date with annihilation with our host being none other than Mr Slap-Happy Go-Lucky himself, Lars von Trier???  No, we wouldn’t, but after whatever the f%^k his Antichrist was (or wasn’t), we’re glad he’s putting us out of our miseries, and the results are sirprizngly not eye slitting out repoopulii!!!  Who knew that R.E.M. could get it so darn right when they said that they felt fine at the end of the world!!  It’s true, well, at least when watching it happen cinematically!

von Trier’s Melancholia starts with a masterfully artsy fartsy prelude bang (the sequence alone is worth the price of admission), and them calmly works its way backwards, 2 days before our time is up.  We meet blushing newlyweds Kirsten Dunst and Alexander SkarsgÃ¥rd, who are late to their own party, but with their perma-smiles & nuptial bliss in tow, no one is going to mind waiting hours for their arrival.  Once it all gets going, the reception is to die for (think this is how we’d all love ours to look like), but as the evening progresses, things start to unravel as we learn that nothing in this world can make Dunst happy, even on her most special of special days.  Her bleak mum (Charlotte Rampling), inebriated womanzing father (John Hurt), money matters brother-in-law (Kiefer Sutherland), pushy employer (Stellan SkarsgÃ¥rd, shockingly NOT playing the father of the groom… his real life son Alexander), and even her hopeless wedding planner (Udo Kier!!!) are only making matters worse.  The ones trying to turn her frown upside down, newbie husband A SkarsgÃ¥rd, sister Charlotte Gainsbourg, and nephew Cameron Spurr, don’t have a chance on this planet of succeeding.  So where does Dunst, down in the dumps, go from here?

After a nice hot bath, urinating on a golf course, and a spontaneous encounter with Brady Corbet (the fake Michael Pitt), Dunst has fully come undone.  The wedding ends, and so does the marriage!  THAT WAS QUICK!!!  Once everyone leaves, grumpy Dunst grumps about with sister Charlotte, bro-in-law Kiefer, and nephew Cameron at their palatial castle and grounds (see ‘Castle-Free’ below). This is when all the planetary madness comes into play, and for once, Dunst starts to feel at peace (she even planet-tans in the nude at night!!!!!), while her sister starts to lose her shit, in her own way.  Dunst’s performance garnered all of the Cannes attention and awards, but it’s hactually Gainsbourg who has the more challenging, and rewarding role.  Maybe they should have been co-awarded, as two sides of the same coin, flipping the flip flip out

moral of the story: von Trier can create joy out of uncertainty and destruction, and this time he didn’t need to harm any penises in the process.  that in itself can be seen a success, and this might juss be his mos accessible movie to date.  Heil von Trier!!

Castle-Free: LvT made the heavens and earth collide at Tjolöholm Castle, Kungsbacka, Sweden


via this really cool site QOTS!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Worth A Peepers

Melancholia explodes into limited release tomorrow, and is already available on-demand, but this is a theater movie people!!!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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