Skins 5 cast REVEALED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(with no character names… yet)

here be our instant reactions and guesses as to who and what they is!!!!

well, they certainly look Skinsy, and certainly skinny, but a tad too young?  or are we getting too old?  answer: both, never, SKINS!!!!!!!!!!

is this Sid 2.0? Chris -.197?  either way, this guy’s bound to be the ‘silly’ character.  bet he rides a vespa and eats boogers and will probably bang someone’s mom or invent 2001 Flushes.  WE LOVE HIM ALREADY!!!

guess at character’s name: Rhys

we will BRACE ourselves for her!!! she’s adorable, innocent and soon to be corrupted by the rest of the gang, and by season 6, her mouth will be metal free and the BJs will flow like hobo wine!  wonder what her hair looks like when its down????  we love a good hair mystery!!!!  oh snappp, she was the girl in the movie no one saw, Golden Compass!!!

guess at character’s name: Elenaor

uh, silly guy part 2?  bland personality part 1?  a cooler Freddie?  does his sly smile hide the instincts of a killer????

guess at character’s name: Logan

5 quid sez this is the gay one.  5 quid sez we see a shot of his butt at least twice (not that we want to)

guess at character’s name: Finley

she’s no cutesy wootsy chubby cheeked-twin, but who is?  uh, NO ONE!! doesn’t matter, her freckles are hugo AND boss!!!!  she’ll be like a more fun, less date & drug rapey Effy or perhaps a more grounded Cassie (both have bunny teeth)?  I bet her parents are strict or divorced or dead.  how day you say ‘love’ in rhyming Cockney slang?

guess at character’s name: well, her real name (Freya Mavor) is better than anyone’s in the world, so we bet she’ll have a boring name like Olivia

it’s Jal! but with zanier hair! and probably less lame! but who knows?  the shadow does!

guess at character’s name: Jade

oh boy.  Gay J 9.7, but less Gay and less J.  bet he thinks he’s hot sh$t, but bet he’s more like hot diarrhea.  he’s well on his way to becoming our least favorite character… and you watch, he’ll end up being our favorite!!!

guess at character’s name: Callum

wait, TWO Jals this season????  way to branch out Skins!  no, seriously, way to be a lil more diverse, but could you at least add a Jew in there?  maybe this girl’s a Jew and she works a bagel store that shows Mel Brooks movies, and MAYBE she’ll end up being the true hottie instead of ‘Olivia’.  either way, she’s totally gonna rock it in our pocketz

guess at character’s name: Philippa

so there where is.  can’t wait, even if it sucks.  same goes for the American version.  in the end, if you haven’t watched one minute of Skins, you truly should lick your own taint as punishment