Thighs Wide Shut

32nd Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony
Barclays Center
April 7th

There have been 32 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremonies, and I’ve sadly only attended three of them.  For a long time, they weren’t open to the public, and were held in either Cleveland or the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel only for industry people  

As soon as they did open them to the public, and in my neck of the woods – starting with the 2014 show – I HAD to be there.  Somehow the demand wasn’t as high with the 2016 show (guess Cheap Trick as a headliner didn’t do the trick), and I somehow snagged a pair of tickets for a paltry $26.06!!!

For the 2017 show, I knew that that would not be the case, with Pearl Jam and Journey getting in, who both have strong fan bases that would just have to be there.  I had to be there too, no matter what.  I’d go even if the inductees were the now eligible Spin Doctors, EMF, Letters To Cleo, Color Me Badd, and Right Said Fred!!  (come to think of it – I’d actually love to see a concert of all those bands together!!!)

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E.L.O.

Last year’s show led off with a David Bowie tribute, and so of course an obvious Chuck Berry one was due this year, and of course, the obvious choice to kick things off was E.L.O. and their outer-spaced out version of his ‘Roll Over Beethoven’, and of course, that is what happened, and of course it rocked.  I know it would, having been lucky enough to see Mr Jeff Lynne and his orchestra do that song + ‘Evil Woman’ and ‘Mr Blue Sky’ this past September, like he totally rocked them again this night  

E.L.O. is a well deserved entry into the Hall, although I strongly feel that Lynne’s other project – The Traveling Wilburys – deserve a place there too.  Mainly cause I want him to reunite with Dylan and Petty (and maybe get George Harrison’s son Dhani, who inducted E.L.O., plus someone else to stand in for Roy Orbison) and play the songs they NEVER toured, EVER

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Joan Baez

I know Joan Baez, but if you asked me to name her 5 most famous songs, I’d probably not even get to 2.  Yikes, but I know she’s important, and while not the most rockiniest choice for the Hall, a vital one nonetheless.  And with today’s politically charged climate (although seriously, what day and age’s climate is NOT politically charged), Joan brought a taste of injustice and protest from times past to the present, playing ‘Swing Low, Sweet Chariot’ + brought out Mary Chapin Carpenter and The Indigo Girls to strum ‘Deportee (Plane Wreck at Los Gatos)’ and ‘The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down’.  I’m all for her making a statement, but I would have preferred a little more rockin – like her cover of ‘House of The Rising Sun’ (if you can call that ‘rockin’)

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Yes

One of THE best things about the Rock Hall inductions is the once in a lifetime reunions AND collaborations, and the band Yes, gave both of those an emphatic YES!!!  The band has had many many many formations in its history, and currently tour the world in two different factions, but on this night, they didn’t come from a place of ‘no’, and all came together to say ‘yes’ to Yes!!!  And superfan Geddy Lee (and Rush bandmater Alex Lifeson) as the inductor, not only had high praise for the group, but filled in admirably for the departed Chris Squire on ‘Roundabout’.  The long song only allowed for a second tune, the 80s staple ‘Owner of a Lonely Heart’

https://www.instagram.com/p/BSnF4W0jQfi/

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Tupac

You’d think that a posthumous induction would not be all that great, but you’d be DEAD wrong.  Poor wording, but totally true.  The Kurt-less Nirvava performance was one of the most bestest things I have ever witnessed, musically.  When Linda Ronstadt (who is not dead) missed her induction 3 years ago, the performance put on in her honor was udderly fantastic.  Same was true for Tupac’s big night.  I missed the Snoop Dog speech while taking an extended wizz, and didn’t really know all the songs in the medley, but what a medley it was…

Ambitionz az a Ridah / I Get Around / I Ain’t Mad at Cha / Dear Mama / Changes (see below) / 2 of Amerikaz Most Wanted / Gangsta Party / Hail Mary / Keep Ya Head Up

all with the help of Alicia Keys, YG, TI, Treach from Naughty By Nature, and of course the Snoop man himself!

No hologram needed – as 2Pac’s music brought him back to life!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BSnJNQIjcOY/

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Journey

The night’s most memorable moment was the one that didn’t happen.  Steve Perry joined his former bandmates on stage for a heartfelt reunion that didn’t continue into the post-speech performances, leaving everyone VERY happy to see him, but VERY sad that we didn’t really get to hear him (sing)

Steve Perry can do whatever Steve Perry wants to do.  If he wants to accept an award and not play with Journey ever again, that’s his choice, but in choosing to not perform (perhaps for the last time and chance ever to do so… but never say ever), he denied the audience, the fans, and humanity the opportunity to witness perhaps THE music moment of the decade  

It may be time to stop believing in a Steve Perry reunion, but with current frontman Arnel Pineda perfectly imitating his chops, there’s plenty to lick and believe in here.  Pineda & co rocked the arena and our world with ‘Separate Ways (Worlds Apart), ‘Lights’ and ‘Don’t Stop Believin’

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Pharrell Williams then inducted Nile Rodgers with the Award For Musical Excellence, but sadly Daft Punk did not show up to make us all ‘Get Lucky’

this was followed to a nice, but not anything super special Lenny Kravitz tribute to Prince, featuring ‘When Doves Cry’ and ‘The Cross’.  Prince should never not be memorialized and honored, but I feel a little Prince-tributed out.  Maybe they could have done a nice Leonard Cohen tribute, and have all the 1284384288424842 people who have covered ‘Hallelujah’ play it all together as one

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Pearl Jam

Save the best for last, and Pearl Jam did, bringing up the rear for this show.  While Neil Young called in sick, David Letterman came out of hiding and brought well needed non-musician humor and heart (and beard) to the proceedings 

Another lovely moment was the appearance and reunion with their original drummer Dave Krusen, who sit in with the band for ‘Alive’, for the first time since he departed the group in 1991(!!!!!)!  Personally, I would have let the group play Ten in its entirety, but they chose to sprinkle in other works, like ‘Given to Fly’ and ‘Better Man’  

The only other moment that would have been super epic, was the show’s all-star jam closing number ‘Rockin’ in the Free World’.  The jam WAS super epic, but without Neil Young, it was a little less super-y epic-er than it could have been.  But who cares!!!  When George Harrison’s son is jamming with Geddy Lee, Eddie Vedder, Jonathan Cain and Neal Schon of Journey, and Trevor Rabin of Yes, you’ll take that over not taking that.  TAKE THAT!!  I will, thanks!  

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Keep these shows a coming and a rocking Rock Hall, and especially to Brooklyn! and with more capes!!!!

Lee Daniels’ The Butler
Injustice Is Served, Then Swerved
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 132 min

If The Help met Forrest Gump it would look a lot like Lee Daniels‘s The Butler – an overly eager to please & overly sentimental look at an actual dude who actually butled at The White House through EIGHT administrations, and how the civil rights era unfolded before his (in the form of Forest Whitaker), all those the Presidents’ (John Cusack with a pointy nose! Alan Rickman with a squint! Liev Schreiber on the shitter! Robin Williams being serious! and James Marsden being AMAZINGS AS JFucK!!!!!!) and society’s eyes, with plenty of artistic licences to spare  

The film covers a LOT of ground, and tries to shove every last bit o’ black history into it (who knew that the fictionalized version of the butler’s son – played by David Oyelowo - was involved and attended EVERY single movement & event ever – the Greensboro sit-ins, the Freedom Rides, Wilt Chamberlain’s 100-point game, MLK’ assassination, Blank Panther meetings, anti-Apartheid rallies, the recording sessions for Michael Jackson’s Thriller), but what it didn’t need to do is waste too much time on the butler’s home life, which it did, which was a waste, which means there’s WAY too much Oprah Winfrey in this movie, and all she does is drink, then play around, then doesn’t, then complains about her butler husband not being around, then happy to have him around, and then meeting Jane Fonda and then whatever dot net  

Still, the movie does what it sets out to do, even if it feels like a whitewashed wikipedia version of the Civil Rights era (strange that white guy - Danny Strong – scripted such an African-American story).  Anywho, props de leon go out to the butler’s butler pals Cuba Gooding Jr, Lenny Kravitz and Colman Domingo who SERVE the film well, even if the film is a lil tooooo self-serving

The Hunger Games
Hype-Hype Boo-Ray!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 142 min

Before we dig not so deep into this ‘review’, here’s a recap of our tweets with our immediate ‘thoughts’ on seeing the ‘movie’ version of Suzanne Collins‘ The Hunger Games

– HUNGER GAMES???? more like BORING LAMES!!!!!!!! 999999real!!

– I love me some bad future movies above all other genres, but that was a not so good bad future movie. the future didn’t look bad enough.  apparently director Gary Ross has never seen a dystopian movie from the 70s

– There’s more excitement contained in 5 minutes of an AMERICAN GLADIATORS episode than there was in 7 hours of HUNGER GAME movieage

- HUNGER GAMES the movie hinges on Jennifer Lawrence‘s ability to emote. she can’t and the movie is thus emotionless

- HUNGER GAMES really needed some vampire baseball action.  [also] needed more boobs, fried chicken and ZODIAC

– things I liked about HUNGER GAMES – Stanley Tucci & his hair’s performance, Wes Bentley‘s devil beard, and the ending cause it meant movie was over

– I wish Katniss volunteered to watch THE BORING LAMES in my place

- I have a bad feeling that parents are going to start naming their kids Katniss and Peeta

– What happens in HUNGER GAMES sequel – Lenny Kravitz opens a salon? Kiefer Sutherland farms berries? Haymitch & Juliette Lewis go on a murder spree?

You are now exiting tweetville, and entering the ‘review’ of the ‘film’

As you can tell, we loved The Hunger Games!!!! NOT!!!!  But we didn’t hate it (PROMISE!).  We just don’t understand the appeal and big deal being made about this movie.  Sure, the books are probably bettererand morerer entertaining, but books are for people who can read, and movies are for people who like their stories wrapped up in 2 hrs so they can see more movies than you can read books.  Anywho, this is not a good movie.  It’s not bad, but it’s not good

Battle Royale, Running Man, blah blah blagg, you’ve heard it before, and again and somethen, but it’s true, The Hunger Games are lesser versions of them.  See those.  Don’t bother with HUNGER TAMED.  Why?  Cause there’s nothing to The Hunger Games movie.  There’s no danger (you know the heroine and her hero-ish friend Josh Hutcherson are gonna live), no drama (unless you’re concerned if bland-o Alexander Ludwig will ever act again), or any sense of anything (it’s like the future in one of them AT&T ‘You Will’ commercials with special FX that look like they were created on a Commodore 64.  no offense to those AT&T commercials, but that was the future according to the early 90s and the last time we checked, the early 90s are over)… and yet, it’s still sorta kinda watchable, even though the Games don’t start until 80+ minutes into it, and about 90 minutes needed to be cut from the whole thing

So what is good?  Tucci as that giddy Oompa Loompa looking TV announcer (it’s the only creepy cool thing about the entire movie, in a Richard Dawson Running Man awesome kinda way), Donald Sutherland‘s voice (duh), Elizabeth Banks‘ wardrobe (maybe?), the fact that Woody Harrelson is in it so young audiences will know of him for future movie going experiences (although he does better mentor work in Game Change, which also has morerer cutthroat gaming than anything in the con game that is The Hunger Sames), and Isabelle Fuhrman is in it too, although not nearly enuff.  She’s adorable, and was so evil in that movie where she was evil.  She’s not nearly evil enuff here, then again, nothing here is, and that is why we don’t HUNGER for these GAMES.  A movie about kids killing each other should be tense and scary and sinister, not none of the above!!!!

Oh, you wanted to know the plot?  It’s like a bad future America, although it doesn’t seem so bad.  It makes 1984 look like our actual 1984.  Every year there’s this big thing called The Hunger Games where a boy & a girl from each of the 12 districts are selected and compete in a water-downed Running Man Battle Royale so that people will like watch it on TV and not revolt or something.  So our girl in this game is some girl with a really stoopid name – Katniss, and the boy from her district is VelPeeta or something.  They aren’t exactly BFFs.  In some flashback, she was hungry and he threw her some bread in the mud, while it was raining!  OH MY!!!  BREAD!!!  MUD!!!!  RAINING!!!!  Anywho, the two get all like dolled up by make-up artists and get advice from drunk former winners and they be in the big city where trains are fast and it all looks like a shittier CGIier version of Coruscant, and all the people are kinda dressed like Clockwork Orange‘s singing sophisto lady from the TV station.  But before the games begin, the kids get trained in a zero-energy filled training sequence.  Then VelPeeta admits he has a crush on Katnipp, and then the games begin, and within like 2 minutes of the games, like 1/2 the kids are dead, and then the rest of the movie takes place in a forest, which isn’t very futuristic, and then they play cat and mouse games that aren’t amusing to anyone (involved or watching), and then Kattnappp whistles to birds, and then more kids die and then some don’t, then there’s a cave scene, and whatever, and then the games end.  CAN YOU GUESS WHO SURVIVE(s)!?!?!?!?!?!?

moral of the story – this could have been an awesome movie, but the guy who made Pleasantville not as awesome as it could have been does or DON’Ts it again.  this is the same guy who made Seabiscuit, and can’t remember much about it, cept there was a horse and Peter Parker rode it and they both overcame the odds to win the Hunger Games

even this shitty 80s movie about a bad future was more betterer and more evilier and more watchable than The Hunger Games, even though this movie is unwatchable

…But Seriously: this one still photograph has more bad future TV show deathgame beyond bestness than the entireness of the The Hunger Games movie

Verdictgo: Very Little Merit AND No Stinkin Badges

Games is currently running afoul at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

nope, this photo aint from Hunger Games either.  it’s from a real movie where kids gun down each other