Thighs Wide Shut

Patriots Day
Made America Great Again
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 133 min

In a time of great division, it takes a docudrama like Patriots Day to remind us how once united AND great America and Americans were

The 2013 Boston Marathon bombing was not all that long ago, but before you scream ‘too soon‘, it’s never soon enough to remember the bad that happened, and the good that came out of it and its aftermath.  I am patriotic, and love this country (and its fried chicken) so dang much, but I am not overly gung ho and showy about it.  But bad guys are easy to root against, and heroes are something we always need another of (sorry Tina).  And there are no better bad guys then bad men who went to harm innocent people, and there are no better good guys than the ones who protect and serve us, and try to keep us safe from the bad dudes.  After watching this film, I felt more proud and patriotic than I may ever have in my entire life (besides seeing the Beach Boys on July 4th in Washington DC)

Although I was sadden to learn that Mark Wahlberg‘s character in Patriots Day did not exist in the real world (and that they chose not to use Neil Diamond’s ‘America’ over the closing credits), everything else about the Peter Berg‘s incredible film felt so real, and of the moment. Berg and co (with brief but memorable turns by J. K. Simmons, John Goodman, Kevin Bacon, Themo Melikidze, Alex Wolff, Supergirl as the bomber’s wife, and my personal fav – Jimmy O Yang), did an excellent job of interweaving multiple stories to create a complete picture of the complex events, which I did not really intend to ever revisit… until I found myself sitting in the theater that I saw this in

What a frucking movie!!  You will leave the theater (or your couch, eventually), and want to scream – U S AND A! U S AND A!!  FCUK YOU BAD GUYS – WE ARE ALL BOSTON STRONG!!  WE ARE AMERICA AND WE ARE GOOD AND AWESOME AND YOU MAY TRY TO HURT US BUT WE WILL GET YOU AND TRIUMPH CAUSE WE ARE AMERICANS!!!  (but not in the bad post-9/11 going to Iraq for no reason kinda way)

We need more movies like Patriots Day – to remind us to never forget, and to remind us that it is possible that America and Americans can once again be united AND great (without the help of Donald Trump)… although hopefully without the catalyst being tragedy, which sadly shows us again and again that it is the worst in humanity that brings out our best!  If only we lived in a world where our best brought out our even besterer in humanity!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Patriots Day ALL DAY – currently in select cities, and at a theater near jews AND white nationalists this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Fighter
A Champ In The Land of Chumps
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Boxing movies have reached a point of predictability.  They are all about underdogs rising to the challenge, and either they stay on top or fall, really hard (well, all boxers eventually fall, don’t they?).  There’s Rocky and Raging Bull and then there’s everything else.  David O. Russell‘s take on real life brother boxers Micky Ward and Dickie Eklund is somewhere in between the two, with Micky ultimately becoming a contender, a somebody, while his brother falls from grace and becames a great pretender, and horribly a crack addict (watch this HBO doc on crack featuring him!).  And yet for all his deadly vices and unpredictability, Micky needed Dickie in order to become a king of the ring.  Brothers in arms!!  And in fists!!!

Mark Wahlberg fits into Micky’s glove like a… glove.  The role comes naturally to him, but doesn’t eggzactly show any great reach in this tale of the tape.  Christian Bale has the harder and juicer task playing deadbeat Dickie, and while in full Machinist gaunt mode, Bale’s brilliant performance keeps this pedestrian Beantown throwdown from going down for the count.  For a majority of the ride you’ll want to punch Dickie/Bale in the face, and by the end, you’ll want to hug him more than we wanted to hug the movie The King’s Speech.  But the brothers aint alone in all of this.  They have an over reaching family, with bossy matriarch Melissa Leo (to learn more about her, click here) ruling the roost and her SEVEN daughters (more about 2 of em below), a pushover papa (Jack McGee), and in this corner, a loving trainer (Mickey O’Keefe, in a mini-Ditka stache look).  Throw in a sexualized Amy Adams (we never wanted to see her like that, but boy, the girl’s got curves!) as Micky’s tough love interest and family divider, and you’ve got a lot of fight in The Fighter!  It’s a winner, not by a knock out, but by decision based on this judge’s scorecard!

Sister Act: Micky & Dickie”s sisters put on quite a show, and quite a lot of hairspray.  one of them is played by Conan’s sister!!  but there was one sister in particular that was driving our brain into overdrive.  we was like, who IS that, and how do we know her?  well, her is Jenna Lamia and she played popular Poppy Downes in the very first episode of Strangers With Candy!!!!!

watch!

Verdictgo: mos def Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Fighter fights the good fight this Friday only in NY/LA AND the boys’ hometown of Lowell, Mass!!!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…