little known fact…

Martin Short’s wedding coordinator character from Father of The Bride - Franck Eggelhoffer

is based off of a real life wedding coordinator!!!

Kevin Lee!

whose past client list includes Oprah Winfrey, Tom Cruise, Jennifer Lopez, Mariah Carey, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Sharon Osbourne, Keanu Reeves, Sela Ward, Lionel Richie, Angelica Huston, Wolfgang Puck, Frank Sinatra and Michael Jackson!!!

Inherent Vice
California Scheming
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 148 min

In a haze and in a daze, Paul Thomas Anderson‘s take on Thomas Pynchon‘s Inherent Vice is well worth toking.  Why?

it’s…

(thankfully not the dis-Master)

Lebowski-y, but smarter(!)(?)

and says hello to The Long Goodbye

and is as serious (and seriously silly) as Joe Friday’s haircut

LSDeez nutz

A video posted by Thigh Master (@thighmaster) on Jan 1, 2014 at 8:21pm PST

and Eli Cash-y

and Paul Avery Zodiac-y

and Nathan Thurm-y squirmy

and Shasta-y

and Katherine Waterston continues her ‘brave’ (read – ‘nude’) work in cinema

and all this equals…

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Vice is nice at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Frankenweenie
James Whale of a Good Time
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 87 min

Tim Burton, creatively, hasn’t had much luck adapting other people’s claims to fame.  Alice was far from a Wonderland.  That Chocolate Factory desperately needed to be condemned.  Planet of the Apes?  More like Planet of the WÃœRST!!  Sure, Dark Shadows wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t as awesome as it could have been neithers!  So what if he adapted his own claim to fame?????  Taking his 1984 live-action short film [WATCH!!!] and turn it into a full-length stop-motion animation feature (basically an adaption of his adaption of Frankenstein)? On paper, it sounds like a sure thing, but so did all those other projects listed above, before they became sure thing disasters!!!!

But movies aren’t made on paper, they are made on film digital files!!!  And sometimes Tim Burton is capable of making things that don’t suck in the 21st century (BIG FISH!!!), and his long-form Frankenweenie far from sucks.  It’s actually his best work since Big Fish (although that doesn’t really say much) and more importantly, reminds us of a time when Burton wasn’t a studio hack, but a unique mastermind of weirdness and wonderment.  Could you ask for anything more?  Yeah, like 20 more real Tim Burton movies instead of 20 more bullsh!t Tim Burton movies

So how does the longer Weenie compare story-wise to the shorter one?  Basically the same (boy loves dog, dog dies, boy brings dog back to life, weirdness AND loveliness ensues), but everything this time around is more gothic-y/Burton-y/stop-motiony AND funner!!!  PLUS the boy, Victor Frankenstein (now voiced by Charlie Tahan), also gets more fleshed out classmates to play with, and THEY ARE ALL AWESOMEESSS!!!!!!  esp Edgar ‘E’ Gore voiced by Atticus Shaffer + one of them has the voice of Winona Ryder!!!!!!!  YES, WINONA AND TIM BACK TOGETHER AGAIN!!!!!!!!  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE THIS PLEASE!!!! And Catherine O’Hara is back too!!!!  IT’S LIKE A BEETLEJUICEY SEMI NOT REALLY REUNION!!!!!  + Martin Short AND Martin Landau have voices!!!!!

This movie is a FrankenWINNER!  It’s true cause it’s true

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Frankenweenie IS ALIVE, today at a theater near jews!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…