Spider-Man: Homecoming
The Kid Stays In The Picture, And Then The Picture Strays From The Kid
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 133 min

Somehow it took five Spider-Man movies to get us to this point – a sixth movie that FINALLY gets Peter Parker right.  Tobey Mags and Andrew Garf were fine and all, but they didn’t seem like a teen doing teeny things.  They were already too old to be properly naive and out of their depths.  Tom Holland makes for such a perfect PP that he will now forever be Peter Parker in my mind’s thigh.  YOU GO LIL TOM HOLLAND!!

They may not have gotten Aunt May right, but they definitely have gottzen Aunt May HOT!!!!  UM HELLO Marisa Tomei.  why aren’t you and your tight clothings in every movie???????

and while the high school stuff was super great (the very non-actory Jacob Batalon as Peter’s BFF felt refreshing), and Michael Keaton as Birdman/Condorman/Johnny A$$holely was a pretty good bad adversary (with a nice lil twist with him in da plot), there were some stuff that I didn’t care for whatsoever…

like the forcing of Zendaya and Donald Glover into this movie.  She serves no purpose in this movie (BUT MAYBE IN FUTURE ONES!!????), and Donald Glover was only in it cause he and the internet wanted him to be Spider-Man years back, and so you have to give him and the internet what they want, right???

And the real reason there’s more Spider-Man, even though we really don’t need more, is not only cause it’s easy $$$ to make, but really to drag poor Spidey into the web of the rest of the existing Marvel cinematic universe, and therefore render the kid into another cog of the already waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too bloated Avengers posse

This Spider-Man movie excels when it focuses on Peter and Spidey, but gets muddled and repetitive once Robert Downey Jr‘s ironic Tony Stark and lame lackey Jon Favreau rear their ugly heads here there and everywhere in this picture  

By the time the smoke clears at the end of the movie, after yet another gigantic battle with too many explosions and public property destruction, you no longer feel like you’re watching a Spidey movie - just another brick in the Marvel wall.  Tear down that wall!!  These superhero movies are losing their super-ness.  Spidey Homecoming felt like a step in the right direction, only to arrive at a destination we’re sick of visiting

Cool end credits though!

Verdictgo: low end Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Spidey senses tingle a bit at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Founder
The Big Mac Daddy
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 115 min

As a kid my love for McDonald’s was beyond super-sized.  As an adult, I haven’t abandoned the golden arches, but I certainly don’t eat there as much as I did as an ultra-happy Happy Meal youngin 

Anywho, I always remembered seeing this plaque in our local Maccy D’s…

And I was like, who’s Ray Kroc?  And why isn’t his last name McDonald??  And what up wit dat???  I didn’t bother to ever ask my parents these questions, so I kept these questions to myself

The rise of the internet somehow never moved me to look further into this, and so I am thankful that the answers in the John Lee Hancock directed, and Robert Siegel written story of how Ray Kroc became Mr McDonald’s, and the McDonald brothers became a footnote in their own invention could be found in The Founder

Kroc (an excellent, cold AND hot Michael Keaton) was a struggling milkshake salesman, when a chance encounter with Richard and Maurice McDonald (a less annoying/mustached than usual Nick Offerman, and the mad round of awesomeness John Carroll Lynch) and their bustling, innovative namesake burger joint in San Bernardino, California, changed the fortunes and futures of all involved

Dick and Mac McDonald created McDonald’s, but with their permission, they unleashed Kroc to make their modern fast food franchise into a giant reality, and created a monster in the process.  The Brothers wanted to retain and maintain control, but as the brand grew under Kroc’s stewardship, they lost more and more of it, to the point where they were cut out completely

The story of McDonald’s is the story of America – capitalism, efficiency, grease, greed - all done with a smile, no matter how crooked that smile is on the inside

Mr Kroc, you may not be the greatest human being, but don’t you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelette?  I mean, without him, would you have ever even had a childhood?

For me, the answer is’ no’, and the same goes with Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy’s.  I want to hear his story.  He was adopted AND he worked under Colonel Sanders!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Founder is found at a theater near jews AND white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Peace The Forks Out

to

MTM 

+

Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka

Om Puri

he lived the Day The Music Died

Marcels singer

Vuarnet

she broke the news of WWII

he said a lady was a tramp

music photog

he got smart

an SNL/SCTVer

dead of the Living Dead

a Roche, clipped

last man on the moon

some British actor

some Canadian actress

some Cuban actor

some American actress

some whale

William Peter Blatty

British skipper

Eagles part owner

he gave the village a voice

he was all about that jazz

Capriotti’s founder

Art’s son

Penn Station’s big board

&

Albert Rosenfield

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ex2vZeiupU

Spotlight
All The Priests’ Children
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 127 min

Every great newspaper deserves its own great movie.  The Washington Post got All The President’s Men, The San Francisco Chronicle got Zodiac, and (although I haven’t seen it) The New York Times got the doc Page One: Inside The New York Times.  There are a lot of other great great newspaper films, but they are all fictional (or fiction guised as something sorta based in reality, ala Citizen Kane).  It’s actually kinda weird that there aren’t more films about big time stories published by big time newspapers.  Anywho – Spotlight shines a bright light on The Boston Globe – and the lid they blew off the priestly-pedophiled sexual scandals that plagued the highly Catholic Boston area for eons

Thomas McCarthy‘s cinematic journey of this investigative journalism triumph is a triumph itself.  The outcome is obvious (any doubt that the paper wouldn’t win the day by getting the word out), but getting from point A to point B was an absolute thrill – even if it mainly consisted of phone calls, interviews, trips to the library, repeat, repeat, repeat.  The movie never skips a beat, and is pulse-pounding from the get go, to the get stop.  Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci, Brian d’Arcy James (and his MUSTache), Liev Schreiber, and Billy Crudup are ALL fantastic.  Raping children is not fantastic, but this movie is ALL fantastic.  It is a muss see for anyone who has eyes, and even for people who don’t

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Spotlight shines bright currently at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

the only thing nuttier than Beetlejuice is the Japanese poster for it

[via MPOTD]