Viola Davis

Naomie Harris

Nicole Kidman

Octavia Spencer

Michelle Williams

she so beautiful, and she’s never looked betters than heres…

Michelle Williams for Louis Vuitton

My Week with Marilyn
Companionship Is A Girl’s Best Friend
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 99 min

Colin Clark is one lucky fellow.  He was born into money and used family connections to get onto the set of Laurence Olivier’s The Prince and the Showgirl, and somehow sirprizingly into the heart and soul of Marilyn Monroe… for a week!!  Of course any man would give both of their testicals to be in her presence for 10 seconds, so we’re pretty dang darn jealous that Clark did what he got to do, especially since he’s a dweeby guy played by the dweeby actor Eddie Redmayne (he needs to get a lip reduction or something).  But even if this is CC’s story, Simon Curtis‘ film version of his true story is truly all about Marilyn through and through

When we first saw a picture of Michelle Williams dolled up as MM, we were kinda creeped out by it.  We love Williams and all, but didn’t think we’d be able to buy her as her.  Well, after seeing MW be MM, we are now beyond sold.  So much so that we’d almos rather spend a week with MW as MM than with MM.  It’s true!!!  Throw in some stiff-upperlipping by Kenneth Branagh as Olivier, Judi Dench dame-ing it up, Julia Ormond ormonding(???) it up, Toby Jones standing tall, Emma Watson not being Hermione, Dougray Scott wearing the same exact glasses that Arthur Miller did, Dominic Cooper not being Uday Hussein, Zoë Wanamaker rapping with her raspy voice, and we got ourselves a solid supporting cast playing the cast of characters who supported MM during her cinematic journey in the old country

But there was something about the whole falling in love affair with MM that didn’t sit right with us.  It felt like we were being served a giant slice of nauseating sentimentality.  And this Colin Clark kid is just too vanilla a human being to give two flying figs about.  He’s as cardboard as… cardboard, and as interesting as… cardboard.  We ended up rooting against him getting into MM’s troubled life, and wished it was Olivier who had itched that seven year itch (whatever that means).  But it is what it is, and that’s what it is

moral of the story: Monroe has been portrayed on screen and TV 100+ times.  Michelle Williams hands in the 2nd best MM performance we have ever seen.   This is why you see this movie.  So, who’s #1?  Samantha Morton, who played a heartbreaking MM impersonator in one of the best films of the last 10 years – Mister Lonely

Smoke Em If You Got Em: yes, these did really eggsist.  EAT IT MR T!!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Marilyn‘s Week begins limited release on Thanksgiving Eve Day

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

(this is Colin with Olivier’s wife Vivien Leigh!)

Meek’s Cutoff
Probably Sponsored In Part By ARRID Extra Dry®
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 104 min

Ever see that movie where Michelle Williams loses her dog?  Oh, you mean one of the biggest snoozefests ever put to film?  Yeah, that one.  It was called Wendy and Lucy (please read our review) and the American military have used it to torture people into giving us information.  Yes, it’s really that ungolden slumbers.  It’s so boring that we’d rather sit thru Hebrew School all over again than ever sit thru it again.  Wellllllllllllllllll, apparently that’s director Kelly Reichardt‘s thang.  Fair enuff, if you love the last letter of the alphabet repeated times 838383.  Get the picture?  Don’t think so!  It ALMOST did the impossible and make us not like Michelle Williams, you know, the actress we all adore and admire and wish was our lover, friend and/mother

So what if there was a subject matter so boring to begin with that it would perfectly suit the director’s style and sensibility so dangs well that she couldn’t lose like Parker Lewis or Indiana in 1976.  Guess what, there is, and it happened, and it worked!!!!  We sorta heart Kelly Reichardt now!!!  All is forgiven… sorta!  Her latest subject is people moving westward in search of a better life (actually that was the subject matter of her last 2 movies).  Yeah, but this is 1845, and moving round back than wasn’t easy, cause the west is wild and also mild and filled with nothing!!!!!

3 families are making this journey, and are led by real life Stephen Meek (a grizzly Bruce Greenwood), for who’s path, Meek’s Cutoff, they’re all passing along on!!  There’s the Gatelys (real life super indie droopy faced cutie pie couple Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan), the Whites (moaning Myrtle Shirley Henderson + Neal Huff and tiny Tommy Nelson), and the couple we care and focus on mostest, the Tetherows (Reichardt alums Williams and Will Patton).  They travel slowly by parched day, and unwind even slower by fire at night.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.  Occasionally stuff happens, like a wagon’s wheel breaks, or like they think they’re going the right way, but maybe they’re not, but maybe they are, but they still have like zero water!  They even capture an Injun (Rod Rondeaux) and things get a bit more interesting, but then they don’t!

Meek’s Cutoff was like watching everyone’s favorite educational game Oregon Trail (see below) come to life.  That may sound intriguing and boring, and it is!!!  Yet it’s pretty impossible to not walk away from it feeling both mesmerized and thirsty.  Plus how often do you get to see a film displayed in a 1.33:1 square aspect ratio, like our boy Kubrick done did wit some of his flicks with pre-HDTV home video in mind

Blazing Saddles: dude, PLAY THE OREGON TRAIL, Apple IIgs stizz, NOW!!

gawd bless you Minnesota Educational Computing Consortium

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Meek’s is Cut-ON in NY only this Friday and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Annette Bening

Nicole Kidman

Jennifer Lawrence

Natalie Portman

Michelle Williams

breastestest of luck/lick ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!